at least work makes the time go by faster

So I guess I'm not really looking for work anymore. The barn manager quit so now I have as many hours as I want. Hurray! Job hunting was no fun. Part of the reason that I like my job is because it's physically demanding. I don't always appreciate that while I'm doing it, but I love the benefits that I see later. My upper body strength has come a really long way with the combination of work and the UBBT. Today after class there were a few people talking about the upcoming UBBT 7 and it was really exciting. I am looking forward to a year of new challenges with some new faces in there.
My husband has been gone away for work training for a little over a week now. He is gone for a total of 2 weeks. We've been married for 11 years and I think the most we've been apart is 2 days. I suppose that might seem weird to some, but we just have always done everything together. He really is my best friend and also my training partner for kung fu and jiu jitsu. He's also going to be a part of UBBT 7 so that will be pretty great.
I've been spending a lot of quality time with my 2 daughters doing all kinds of little things together to make the time go by faster. Honestly I thought that being alone with the kids would make me crazy, well not for real but that I need a break feeling that every mom gets. But they have been so awesome. They have their moments but as a whole I've realized that I have some amazing kids. I always knew that, and every parent thinks so of their own kids but this week just made me appreciate some of the little things about them both.
I've been learning a new form, stick 3, and it's really cool. Having something new to throw into the forms mix is great. I feel really awkward at the end when we have to do a 360 that ends with a strike. It was actually funny how bad I am at it. I've been practicing and it's certainly not graceful but it's better than it was anyway. I also found out I've been doing something wrong in long 2, not huge, but still it's going to be one of those things I will have to do a hundred times to fix. I guess there is always something to work on, even when there isn't anything new.

Back to the gym

I really thought that this summer I would really rack up the kms on my bike. I bought an odometer for it and everything. It did work but a lot of times I have my kids with me and they don't really make it too far on the bikes. My youngest is 6 and I figure she pedals about 3 or 4 times to my one. Thats my excuse anyway. I have been paying my gym membership all summer and haven't been once. Huge waste of money. So tomorrow will be my first day back to the gym, I really need to get my kms back into my routine. I am sadly behind and I hope I can catch up with some diligence. This will also give me time to do my french lessons, I pedal and repeat french phrases... I have given up on trying to not look like a weirdo at the gym. My french has also fallen by the wayside. I am posting that I am not doing well in these areas so that I will be accountable and get my butt in gear. I've got to go dust off my running shoes.

My rock hard.... kidney

So not too much going on this week as far as training goes. My knee injury seems to be slowly getting better, I keep messing up my toes now and I've decided to just keep them taped up for the time being. Ju jitsu has been great lately, learning some new sweeps and locks, it's a lot of fun.
I was pretty sure I had kidney stones again and my results from my ultrasound last week show that there is 3, 2 getting kind of big and one on the smaller side. Normally they don't bother my but when they move it's extremely painful and I never know when that will happen. I guess I have to go have lithotripsy again (where they blast the stones into tiny pieces) it's not really a big deal, it's just the time it takes to see a specialist and then wait again for the appointment. I don't like the fact that my kidneys don't work the way they should. Mind you the sponge kidney thing I have is pretty minor in the scheme of things and rarely leads to more serious problems. I should count my blessings. I am thankful for my health and my amazing family who is always supportive of me. After spellchecking this blog I had to mention that the closest spelling suggestions for lithotripsy was deathtrap. Weird.

Mental health awareness- Unipolar depression

So this week is mental health awareness week, Sifu Behringer put it out there to the school to raise awareness. I chose unipolar depression because it has directly affected my life. Someone close to me suffers from this form of depression. Unfortunately there is a stigma attached to mental health disorders (hence mental health awareness week) and most people who know him other than close family and friends don't know that he has struggled with this for years. He worries that if people knew it would change how they look at him, or that he wouldn't be able to get work. He has always seen this struggle as a weakness on his part. Unipolar as opposed to bipolar, is someone who suffers from depression lows rather than the highs and lows of bipolar. People with unipolar depression will have a regular day to day life but will have depressive episodes that disrupt their normal life. These episodes can range from mild to severe and affect work, relationships, eating and sleeping habits and general health. During a depressive episode there are feelings of worthlessness, inappropriate guilt and regret, self loathing, and hopelessness. Seeing someone you love struggle through one of these episodes is scary. When someone suffers from depression, the usual hey it's ok, you'll get through it doesn't work. I think it's hard for most people to grasp the idea of not being able to just snap out of it. The worst part is a lot of times you don't know if they are having an episode as withdrawal from normal activities and communication is common.
Over the last year I have learned a lot about depression. I've realized that having a mental illness is just the same as someone suffering from a physical disability, but that most people don't see it that way. You wouldn't tell someone who was in a wheelchair to just get over it and start walking, but that is how a lot of people see depression, as something that they have control over. I hope that we can change the way people see mental illness and the way that people who live with them are treated. There is a ton of information out there about depression and it is very common. Educating ourselves is a step in the right direction to make positive changes.