Nov. 18

I've been guilty of not blogging last week, my computer is disconnected because of renos in my house and I hate using my phone and the tiny keyboard. Still not connected so I'm going to keep this short. Thought a lot about the candidates running in all that snow this weekend, it's amazing how much snow we can get in one night. I got to say hi to our adopt a driveway person, Mrs. Chalifoux, what lovely lady. She always bakes us something and is so grateful for what we do. Makes those sore shovelling muscles feel worth it. All this snow is a great chance for acts of kindness, shovelling, pushing people's cars out of snowbanks and icy intersections.
Adrien was in Halifax all week so life was hectic and Fridays bad driving conditions from westlock kept me from classes, I hope that doesn't happen too often this winter.

Nov. 3

During the meeting this Saturday I thought of all kinds of things I'd blog about but now that I'm writing I can't think of any of them. I am guilty of blogging a lot about things unrelated to kung fu, so I will try to be more on track from now on.
I have been thinking of black belt grading lately, mostly because it's coming up quick for those grading, but also because it makes me think of my I Ho Chuan experience. I think that the most challenging thing for me preparing for my own grading was coming up with 5 original techniques. I have always felt that I lacked creativity in this area, and honestly my techniques were terrible. I felt the same dread thinking of making up my own form, especially with a weapon. Finally coming up with something that got approved by Sifu Brinker was really awesome. I think that has been the high point of this year for me. Dragon dance has also been something I didn't think I would be that into but has turned out to be great. I thought that our Tiger challenge performance went really well and a special thanks to Sifu Wetter for holding me up for so long, and also kick him in the legs a million times while we practiced. I'm looking forward to seeing where we go from here.

An Act of Kindness

This weekend I was out with my younger daughter getting a few things for her to make Halloween crafts. I was at the check out and tried to pay with my credit card but they didn't accept credit so I went for my debit card. I couldn't find it anywhere... I realized I had put it in my jacket pocket and left it there at home. A very nice lady behind me insisted on paying for our items even though they were completely frivolous (well not to Teagan I guess). I felt so embarrassed, but she insisted. She told me to just pass it on, and I will. It was so nice I felt great for the rest of the day. It was a nice reminder of what it's like being on the receiving end of an act of kindness, and how good it can make someone feel. It's a great feeling to be part of a team that is doing stuff like this everyday.

This week

I feel like I don't have much to say this week. I am really enjoying dragon dance practices and the camaraderie we all have there. I think it would be amazing to do the double dragon dance for Chinese New Year, the more we challenge ourselves the better it is when we pull it off.
We got a new dog last week, some of you have seen him at the kwoon already. His name is Dexter and he's a SCARS dog, one of SRKF Benevolent Foundation charities. He was surrendered at a spay and neuter task force in Hobbema. There are a lot of SCARS dogs that come through the Westlock Vet clinic and it's so great to see these scared, malnourished and sometimes beaten and even shot animals come back through when they have gotten good medical care and a few weeks of good meals. Hey, you all had a part in that, very cool, and they may never know your faces but you changed a life. See  you all on the mats.

Fall

It's really feeling like fall these last few weeks. I'm not a winter lover so this time of year makes me dread winter but I still can't help but love fall for itself. I like my autumn garden- harvesting and doing all the canning and pickling, although sometimes the overabundance of vegetables needing something done with them can be overwhelming- I have over a hundred pounds of tomatoes in my house right now! Really can't complain about that though when there are food shortages around the world.

I feel like a broke through a wall with my cane these last couple of months. I am not a creative person and I have struggled to come up with a form to showcase this weapon. I think what finally happened was I just started playing with it, twirling it around, hitting stuff- I don't know, it just worked. I really like the cane as it is practical so I'm glad this is finally coming together. Dragon dance is fun as always. I like working on the new stuff, even if it's a little scary sometimes, but I do feel bad for Sifu Wetter having to carry me around on his shoulders PLUS the dragon head!

Fun week at work so far also- an injured hawk was brought in and we did radiographs for the wildlife rescue group, really cool.

4th draft

I've been thinking a lot about the I Ho Chuan year and some of the conversations we've been having after class- and of course Sihing Lowry leaving kung fu, (hopefully just temporarily). I wrote at least 3 different blog posts and deleted them all, they ended up just being my opinion on the subject of sacrifices, what it takes etc, basically a lot of blah blah blah. We are all different in our own ways and we will each have our own unique highs and lows through this year. I hope though, that we can utilize the fact that in some ways we are all the same, we are all struggling at times no matter how it may seem on the outside. It is easy to feel alone and frustrated, I know we all want to keep things positive but sometimes just being able to talk to someone about having a crap day makes all the difference. So if you ever want to talk about your crap day (or your awesome day) I'd love to listen.

Heart

Someone I know posted a video with this commentary on it, It is geared towards a competitor, but I felt like it has relevance for a lot of us in what we do, or anything your trying to accomplish in life. I can't think of anyone who hasn't felt beaten and knocked around by life a few times. The best accomplishments in life are the ones that we struggled to finish or the ones we thought there was no way we could do and then doing it. Anyway, it spoke to me.

"Here's the thing that makes life so interesting. The theory of evolution claims only the strong shall survive. Maybe so, maybe so. But the Theory of Competition says just because they're the strong doesn't mean they can't get their butts kicked. That's right. See, what every long shot, come- from- behind underdog will tell you is this: The other guy may, in fact,be the favorite, the odds may be stacked against you. Fair enough. But what the odds don't know is this isn't a math test. This is a completely different kind of test. One where passion has a funny way of trumping logic. So, before you step up to the starting line, before the whistle blows, and the clock starts ticking, just remember out here, the results don't always add up. No matter what the stats may say, and the experts may think, and the commentators may have predicted, when the race is on, all bets are off. Don't be surprised if somebody decides to flip the script and take a pass on yelling "uncle!" And then suddenly as the old saying goes, "We got ourselves a game.""

Intensive care

It's been a really busy week (as always I guess) but seemed more so this time. It is the season for Parvo puppies at work. I work in at a clinic that serves a lot of rural clients and the incidence of parvo is much higher than other places I've worked. People who choose to treat their dogs pay a lot of money and my job is a lot of intensive care to support their bodies in the struggle to fight off this virus. It's a lot of work and it's hard not to get attached to these little guys for the time they are with us. A few weeks ago someone brought in a bin of 5 pups about 8 weeks old they found on the road, all 5 parvo positive. One died while we examined them and another had no blink reflex left and was euthanized. I put so much hope in to those remaining little guys, I put IV catheters into all 3, gave meds, cleaned up and wrapped in blankets with warm water bottles and left for the night. Anyway- long story short they all slowly drifted away over the next few days despite my best efforts. I know there was nothing more we could do but give supportive care but I still felt so useless and angry too, that someone left them, that they didn't vaccinate the mother, that the only one to care they were gone was me. Really this blog has nothing to do with kung fu, just needed to empty my head somewhere. I know all you SRKF guys are responsible pet owners but pass on the education- spay and neuter your animals, and for heavens sake VACCINATE! If you can't afford at a vet clinic go to G&E pharmacy and do it yourself. Sorry, needed to get that out!

Before and After

I'm late! I forgot to post before we left on vacation! It was good to get out of the city and go to the mountains with the kids. The highlight of the trip was definitely Mud Heroes, we had a blast. Watching some team mates come through the final obstacle looking like a bog monster (Sifu Prince, Sihing Csillag and Mr. Donahue especially!) was something I will never forget.  It was challenging but really fun, especially if you like to get dirty, which I happen to love. We had a great group and I would love to see even more students from SRKF go next year. I'm pretty sure we have a 100% yes from everyone who went this time. Congrats to Sifu Darcy Regier and Brandon Regier for placing 126th and 128th (or somewhere very close to there) out of roughly nine thousand participants, and Brandon is 15! It was great to hang out with everyone casually as well, we really have a great group of people at Silent River.
      Back to school is right around the corner and I'm back to work Monday. It feels like I haven't been at the kwoon forever. I apologize for the missed practices, but I'm excited to get going on Dragon Dance again. Summer can be tough when everyone comes and goes, trying to take advantage of such a short season, when we need every team member to fulfill the dream of 2 dragons. I know that we will get back into our routine and pull together as a team as we always do... how can we not with such a great group.

Boot camp

Boot Camp was great yesterday. We were able to stay the whole day and got to participate in a lot of the seminars when there was enough room. It was good to see the wide range of students out there, everyone pushing themselves. It's an exhausting day, not just physically, and it was inspiring to see everyone keep going. At first we thought there was going to be no boot camp this year because of booking issues etc. but I'm so glad it worked out, there is no way to replicate that day and the bonding that happens with your training mates. Awesome job to all those who came out, can't wait for next year.

This week

I couldn't come with any real topic to blog about this week. I've been trying to get a lot more running into my routine lately in preparation for Mud Heroes in August, I'm really excited about going as a group and getting really dirty! Dragon Dance was a total blast on Friday- tons of fun and working on a lot of fun, challenging stuff. I've been really cursing my wrists and shoulders this last few days. I couldn't pull off a move during dragon dance because my hands just won't hang on tight enough, it is so strange to feel strong and then get such a watered down response from my hands/wrists. I was working on a throw today with Adrien and just couldn't pull it off because of my shoulder stuff. Experimented with a couple different arm positions etc. to take some pressure off and it just felt like my shoulder was going to rip apart no matter what. I am feeling frustrated with this stuff rearing it's head again this weekend. Someone recommended a book to me that has a lot of different stretches and exercises to help correct problems like mine so I will be working on those and see if it helps. Have a good week everyone.

Helios

Last week was tough. Our dogs one back leg had started to deteriorate very quickly in the last few weeks. He had signs of a partial tear of his cranial cruciate ligament- kind of like a ACL in people and we are pretty sure he tore it completely just after Canada Day. With no back up leg we had to make a tough decision. We said goodbye on Tuesday and though it's a relief not to see him struggle to move or know he is in constant pain, it's been a really tough week. We knew his life would be shorter than most, just not this short. He never slowed down because he was 3 legged- just a normal goofy dog, loved chasing rabbits and birds and wrestling at the dog park. I think he was the most happy just as he is in this picture- off leash, wet, muddy and just finished chasing some poor bird.
He was a pretty great dog, he was a big part of our family. I'm glad we got to have him in our lives even if it was for a short time.

nothing to say

I started writing my post today and it was so horrible and negative I deleted it twice. I have stuff unrelated to kung fu that is clouding my view of everything right now. For now I will try and focus on getting some studying done and do some mindless training, maybe some running. See you all on the mats.

Final push

I am writing my national certification exam this month, the 16th to be exact. I forgot how much I hate studying for tests! One of my goals was to get at least 85% on this exam. I've been studying on my lunch break but I know I need to put more time in than that. With the demo performance tomorrow I will be able to put studying as my new short term goal. 

School is out and I couldn't be more proud of my girls report cards and awards at the end of the year. They both got leadership awards this year, really cool to see my kids putting into practice what we talk about and teach at kung fu. There have been times when doing the right thing has been extremely hard for them, especially Chantal in grade 7. She is one of the only people I know that will do the right thing every time. She  has stood up to people in defense of others and it has cost her a lot sometimes. She doesn't have a very thick skin, so many nights at bedtime I've sat with her and tried to make sense of why people do the things they do while she cried. Anyone with kids knows what I mean. I hope that I can live up to her example if I was in a similar situation, it's tough to take the high road and it's often a lonely one. 

Can't wait for the demo tomorrow, think of the hours of hard work we've put into this thing, not to mention the literal buckets of sweat! See you all tomorrow.

Progress

I feel like we had a breakthrough as far as practices go this week. Mr. Donahue has adapted his cane form and we are making it work with one attacker. It's fun and I think I finally stopped bumbling around and it's looking a lot better. My acting needs work, hopefully that will come. I also made progress with my cane form, it's almost done! It needs a few more moves, and it's not that smooth yet but that will come with practice. Hurray! Progress!

I am trying to be more mindful of my free time so I can actually enjoy it instead of wishing there was more of it or it was at a different time. I only had Sunday off this week but making sure I wasn't getting stressed about all the stuff I had to get done in one day makes a big difference. Spending an hour this Sunday with my feet up outside, having a coffee with my dear sister and my adorable niece set a more relaxed mindset for the day.

blocked

I'm trying to write a quick blog before work but inspiration is not hitting me this morning. I had to miss class Friday, and emergency came in and I was on anesthesia...the good news is the dog made it even though I left Mr. Donahue without a partner. I'm finding practices a bit frustrating right now, we are working on a 3 attacker sequence with only 1 attacker. I am the first to admit that I have no imagination, my 5 techniques for black belt grading was excruciating for me to come up with. I'm trying to work on my cane form but I'm stuck, I recorded myself doing what I have and I look like a pansy waving a cane around. So bottom line is there is more work to do. See you on the mats!

busy week

I couldn't come up with anything I really wanted to say this week- just that it's been so busy but really good too. The weeknight practices are making my schedule pretty tight- Tuesdays and Thursday nights are usually when we try to batten down the hatches so to speak for the next couple of days. I enjoy getting to know my team mates more and I really love being a part of the dragon dance team. I think we forget how cool it looks because we're in it, but again at the parade this weekend there was a lot of oohs and ahhs. So cool.

My first week at my new job was really cool but kind of scary too. I was put right into rotation there- no honeymoon! It's good but my mind is constantly racing and questioning my knowledge, can't wait until I know everything cold. I've been getting to do a lot- epidurals have been the most exciting thing so far, I love it!

I've been missing the kids class a lot already. I find myself thinking of stuff I want to do in class and then I remember it's not my thing right now and I get kind of bummed out. Last Tuesday I was at a school function for one of the kids and I saw one of the kids from kung fu there. He was lining up and two kids behind him were picking on him- throwing stuff and name calling, it progressed to pushing and hitting...I jumped up to put a stop to it but another mom got there first. It set all kinds of things going in my brain. Who more than the kids we teach will actually need to use the self defense we teach? A kid is more likely to run into these push/shove type situations than most adults. It solidified for me once again how important this is for kids to be involved in, also made me think about how we can get them trained to deal with these situations. Darn, I really miss the kids class!

See you all on the mats.

A Truly mindful experience

My mini vacation to Victoria was awesome- even though I had to miss class/practice to go. One of my favorite things about Victoria is the food/wine/beer. There is just no comparison when your eating fish caught from the ocean you can see out the window of the restaurant you're in and eating artisan wood fired bread made with ingredients all grown within miles of where you are. We were sitting on the pier in a little village on Salt Spring Island sharing a some wonderful bread-y creation made by a local baker and I felt sad that it was one of the best things I've ever eaten and I'd probably never get to eat it again. I felt the same way about all the amazing cheese and fish etc. that I couldn't bring home with me. So while we were eating I asked Adrien if he thought that you enjoy something more knowing that you'll never have it again? Neither of us came up with a great answer but thinking about it later I've decided that having the knowledge that you will never have something again forces you into the moment in a way we normally aren't or have trouble bringing ourselves to on our own. Knowing I was never going to eat that amazing bread again made me savor it in a way I don't normally savor my food. I thought about the chewy texture and the juicy tartness of the crushed tomatoes, the slight saltiness of the cheese- I never think that much about my food while I'm eating it. Sifu Brinker recently talked about eating mindfully and I think I did for the first time REALLY while I was away- even though I thought I had before, very cool experience.

New life stuff

So this month has seen a lot of changes that I didn't see coming. I quit my job in Stony and I will be working in Westlock which means I won't be able to be a part of the advanced black dragons class any more. It was a tough decision, thinking about leaving that class was the hardest part of deciding yes or no to Westlock. I'm hoping I'll wow them so much they will make a new shift up for me so I can make Monday/Wednesdays.  

Funny, but quitting my job once again made a connection from kung fu to other parts of my life. This sounds like I'm tooting my own horn but I want to make a point: when I left my practicum site (in Westlock) they wanted me to stay, I sat down with the office manager and a couple vets and they embarrassed me with wonderful feedback and comments on my work ethic and offered to match what I would make at my job in Stony. I had to decline as I had made a commitement to work in May there. When I knew that Westlock was the place for me and gave my notice a very similar meeting took place with my current boss. I always feel embarrassed when people go on about my work etc. It feels like I don't deserve any accolades for just doing my job properly but apparently it has become a rare commodity these days. Mediocre and just barely good enough and how soon can I get out of here has become the norm. The mastery we talk about at kung fu again applies to all aspects of our lives. By going the extra mile and making sure things are done right, following through, being in the moment- paying attention to whats happening right now, are all things that make you indispensable in your work place and as a friend, as a mom/dad/sister/brother or anything.

Anyway- bit of a rant but I just think it's cool how kung fu connects to all aspects of our lives. I will be away at the end of the week, Adrien and I are going away for our anniversary, 15 years!

See you all next week.

Premeditated acts of kindness

I know a lot of people have been using the phrase "random acts of kindness" and I was thinking that it may be that phrase in particular that makes people feel like recording an act of kindness somehow cancels it out. Just because we try to and maybe even plan to do an act of kindness it does not make it any less kind, in fact it may make it more so. These may seem like random acts to those that are receiving them but they aren't really. I like to think of them as premeditated acts of kindness. Are any of us really only doing nice things because we have to write them down for others to see? I don't think so. I think we are just more aware of the opportunities to do something nice or helpful and take advantage of it. I don't think that there is any member of the I Ho Chuan team that will just stop doing nice things once their year is up- it's just a way of life and writing it down just makes you realize all the chances to do those things. So here are the last few days premeditated acts of kindness.
-Held the door for a lady struggling with a dog, kennel, bags etc.
- picked up garbage cans that blew over in the alley
-made a point of thanking someone who doesn't get thank you's very often
- picked up litter on walk with the dog
- talked with elderly neighbor (even though I REALLY had to go and it was an extremely personal story that she probably shouldn't have been talking about to me)
- gave our busy server and extra big tip
-spent time with a hospitalized dog that hates being kenneled
- stayed late at work to help another tech catch up.
-let someone in on drive to work
-picked up broken glass on walk with the dog.

Weekly challenge

Somehow I managed to copy my blog from my personal blog spot to the group site but didn't actually post it here... so here is Sundays blog.

So the challenge this week for the I Ho Chuan team is to blog our acts of kindness. So here are mine for the last couple of days.

-stayed late at work to help the other girls catch up

-Pitch in project in Stony Plain

- spent extra time with a recovering patient at work

-let someone in on the drive home

-held the door

-made dinner for my mom in law

-sent flowers to my mom 

-took the kids out for a tea date

-let someone in my lane in traffic

-bought the neighbor beer (he let me use his rototiller for my garden)

-picked up litter on walk with the dog. 

I'm not sure if I'll just try to blog more often this week or do a big list at the end of the week. I have so much on my mind right now and I haven't figured out any of it yet so I can't put it down in writing. I feel like this is a pretty lame posting but that's all I can relate right now. 

Veggie month

Today is the last day of my vegetarian challenge! It was a good month and as always forces me out of my food ruts and gets me and my family trying new things. It gave us an excuse to talk to the kids about why we think cutting down on meat is a good thing- for our bodies and for the environment. Now that they are getting older it's cool to hear their opinions on the state of affairs in our environment. Going vegetarian sparked some good conversations and some good food.
 I think the favorites this month were stir fry with teryaki tofu, veggie won tons, and my personal favorite- a grilled veggie sandwich with goat cheese and pesto on ciabatta bread... sooo good. I know this might sound silly, but the better I eat the worse I feel when I indulge in something not so good for me. It may sound like there is no down side to this problem, but there are times you have to eat not so awesome, maybe eating at a friends or on a road trip etc. or even getting popcorn at the theater. My stomach and my love of food that isn't always good for me are constantly at war.
I'm glad I did this challenge but I'm also really looking forward to eating a turkey burger tomorrow. Anyone else doing the veggie challenge this month find any new favorites?

Big things and little things

One of my goals this year was to get to know the core curriculum better- really try to focus on one technique at a time and understand why I was making certain movements and why or why not things work. I've had a few big light bulbs go off about a couple of techniques, which was awesome, but then the realization that I'm a good year into black belt and I'm just figuring this stuff out. Feels like white belt again sometimes, and it feels good. I know that training this way is improving my eye for detail and makes me a better martial artist in the making. I actually laughed out loud during black belt class and then couldn't keep a silly grin off my face once I realized how a simple adjustment made to one of the knife defenses made all the difference in the world. 

I am considering what life would be like working in Westlock- my practicum placement wants me to stay. I can't say enough good things about the clinic there and the people in it, but a big change. For now it's just something to think about- but it's made me think about the fact that often we make sacrifices in our quality of life mentally for convenience and/or money.

See you all Friday!

a little perspective

Saturdays meeting was the first I was able to attend and it was nice to be a part of the group. It's easy to get caught up in our own lives and the things that directly affect us- Saturday helped me reset my perspective. Thanks to the team members who share their struggles, it can't be easy and I know it helped me.
Getting excited about demo season- I'm going to try to re create a very cool cane fight scene- probably not for this time around but maybe the next.

Before I die

There is a sign on the wall at the kwoon that says "Before I die I want to change a life". I know I often walk past it and it's part of the background but with Pandamonium on my mind I've been thinking a lot about how relevant that sign is to what we are trying to accomplish.

When we talk to students and maybe family and friends about the charities we support it is easy for them to end up with this amorphous hazy idea of neediness that want our help by way of money. People tend to phase out when you give them your rundown of who we support. I feel that the answer to this problem is by making people realize that they themselves can change a life. It can be hard to feel a connection when we don't come face to face with those we help, but it is possible. The kids at the kwoon especially need to know that they CAN change the life of a girl who lives halfway around the world- they have that power. They can save a dog from death and starvation, they can feed a homeless hungry man, they can change another child's life! They need to know THAT is what Pandamonium is, and I think most of them don't. When you are dreading trying to find people to donate or dreading the conversation, please try to remember what you're doing. Please lets try to put other people in those shoes. It's easy to say no to that faceless group who wants money- It's impossible to walk away from an individual in need. How cool is it that the students of Silent River are feeding the hungry, helping the discriminated- we are CHANGING LIVES!

Good/Bad Week

I've had a really great week career wise, pretty terrible week kung fu wise. My temporary commute eats up a lot of my spare time so I need to re think my schedule. I'm trying to "do" my old schedule, really need to come up with a different plan of action to get things done for this next month or so. I did manage to come up with a vegetarian meal plan for the next week and make a few meals ahead today for crazy nights. The kids and Adrien are on board for a month of no meat. We did this last year and this time around is not as intimidating, we've incorporated a lot of the new meatless meals we tried last time around into our weekly plan. The kids actually get excited to have teriyaki tofu- I never thought I'd see the day!

I am absolutely loving my practicum site! It's a huge practice with both large and small animal services. I know this sounds terrible but I really like blood and guts surgeries and procedures and in large animal there is a lot of both. Awesome. Just can't talk about my day at the dinner table! Last week I saw the smallest/ youngest animal I've seen under anesthetic. A 2 week old Karelian Bear dog was under to correct a birth defect, my first ever neonatal surgery, really neat. SCARS brings a lot of their rescues to the clinic as well, there were 6 in this week, makes me so glad that we are supporting them with our Pandamonium. Hopefully I will make it home in time this week to see you all on the mats.

Mlong Kuen

I have to admit something. It's been over a year since I've been a black belt and I still don't know Mlong Kuen. I'm embarrassed by this and it's even made me dread going to black belt class in case we go through it. I will learn most of it and then I wouldn't practice it and it would be gone. Now that I'm spending more time thinking about it I'm finding it so hard to retain the moves in my head, almost like the first time I learned a form. I hope that it was a case of there just wasn't enough room in my head at the present moment for more information! Publicly admitting this is also supposed to be a kick in the pants to learn it already! 

Cane is coming along alright. So far I'm trying to learn the block/strike set and get comfortable with the cane. I'm struggling with coming up with my own original form, I'm hoping learning more about the cane as a weapon and some practical uses will help get the ideas going. 

I graduated yesterday! It's hard to believe it's over, just one exam this summer to become certified and that's it! I was awarded a scholarship from the Edmonton Association of Small Animal Veterinarians for academic performance and aptitude in practical labs. I know that I would have put the effort in no matter what so this is really free money, so I'm happy to donate this $500 to our Pandamonium fund. I'm really excited about the team effort going into it this year and that I will be able to be there this year. 

thhhbbbt!

I knew that the beginning of my I Ho Chaun year and the end of school were close together when I signed up. I was worried that I would be spread too thin... and that's exactly what's happening. I feel like my year should have started with a bang, in previous UBBT years the beginning was always the easiest for me, it was easy to be motivated and driven especially at the start, but this year has started out feeling like a squeak instead.
I am just not able to put in the hours to my training that I would like to. In these final weeks of school I have been doing more traveling to off campus sites to complete my large animal skills and assessments and of course the tests, always the tests! It's the tests that keep my feeling like I am chained to my desk with my eyelids propped open with toothpicks staring at my books.
I am unsure what my practicum hours are right now so I'm worried about missing classes for the 6 weeks I will be there- I will be commuting to and from Westlock everyday. I haven't been able to make the first 2 meetings! Basically I feel stressed that I'm falling behind and I've had such a slow start, I feel a bit like dead weight on the team right now.
I know this will pass, I just wish it would happen sooner!

So close!

On March 22nd I will be done school. Everyone keeps saying "Can you believe there's only 2 weeks left?" Honestly my answer is no, I really can't. It's hard to believe the end is so close, it really doesn't feel like it, I feel like the time is going by so slowly. Sometimes during a lecture I feel that I really can't sit there for another second. Or in the morning when my alarm goes off and it feels like the middle of the night I think I would throw away all my education up until now just to sleep until I wasn't tired anymore. I feel constantly under pressure. I feel WEARY. I know I'm not the only one- we all experience this at some point.
I felt something similar to this coming up to my black belt grading day, not so much the weariness but the I can't believe this is actually happening part. I feel that going through the grading day taught me a lot about perseverance, because that is one of the biggest part of making it through that day, or it was for me. I know that right now I have to take each moment as it comes and try not to think about the one after that. Be in the moment and keep putting one foot in front of the other, eventually I'll get there!

Acts of kindness or not?

I was thinking about acts of kindness a few times this week and whether they count if they are done sort of begrudgingly. There is a spot in my commute from school where there are only 2 lanes of traffic. One lane is always backed way up with people waiting to merge onto the Yellowhead. There are so many times that someone zooms past everyone in the other lane and then signals to get in at the front of the line- blocking the other lane while doing so. Every fiber of my being tells me "we are NOT under ANY circumstances, letting this guy in!" It's really a matter of principle! I really feel like by letting this person in I'm losing in some way, or enabling them to keep doing it again. Of course there are the poor people stuck behind this guy so I guess by letting them in it could be an act of kindness to those drivers, but still if I let him in and I'm saying "your an idiot" to them in my head do I count it?
A garbage bag in the alley a few houses down from me was ripped open last week and there was nasty garbage all over the alley. I walk my dog that way 3 times a day and he would always manage to eat some of this grossness. At first I figured that the owners of the garbage didn't know it was ripped open, but then as new bags showed up I realized they had no plans to clean it up. Working in a vet clinic I see the effects of dogs with "garbage guts" and couldn't stand to know my dog managed to eat some every time we passed. I bit the bullet and went to clean it up. The entire time I was cleaning I was cursing these people, and the fact that the majority of the garbage was cigarette butts, greasy take out and rotting chicken bits didn't help. Was this really an act of kindness or does that fact that I got no satisfaction out of doing it cancel it out? Do I just need to work on my own enlightenment? Hmmm. What do you guys think?

I hate titles

Lots to think about this past week- I've never been very good at getting my thoughts down into words though. 

I've been trying to focus on getting to know my curriculum techniques better by working on one for a few weeks. It's funny how you think you know a technique and then you realize all this other stuff you've been missing, all the nuances, kind of like the difference between "twinkle twinkle" and a symphony. Definitely not at the symphony yet, but I'm excited about the progress. 

I'm a month away from the final exams of my last semester of school! Even though it's so close it feels never ending a bit, it's hard to imagine being done. I'm trying to have the mentality that all I have to do is put in the effort and the results will be there. 

Because I'm in school, I work a lot of Saturdays- I've never worked weekends before and I am missing the Saturday training. I'm hoping to work less weekends and get more weekend training in. 

I also have to remember to copy my blog posts to the I Ho Chuan group site- I forgot last week.

I'm hoping that the Friday classes will only go uphill for me as last Friday- very first class, the very first time I swing my cane around- I hit Sifu Brinker with it. The worst has happened, it can only get better right? Happy training everyone.

Goals

So my I Ho Chuan year has begun! I am glad to be back on the team, I felt a little lost last year not having set goals to work towards. As we all know those casual goals that we say we're going to do but then don't because we're not accountable to anyone but ourselves don't really happen, well, at least not for me anyway.  I am nervous that I'm going to like a chicken with my head cut off, but we'll see how it goes. I'm a little behind on being organized for the year. Adrien found a good website for tracking my goals that also has an app for my phone so I can easily log stuff when I'm out. It's www.42goals.com and it gives me a total count and how many I need to do every day to achieve my goal. I know that staying organized is going to be a big part of making this year successful.

Dogs helping Dogs

Judy, a blood donor dog

As part of the animal health program at NAIT, students are required to do shifts at various locations like the pound, the emergency clinic etc. We all have to do 4 shifts helping with blood bank. Most people don't realize that there is such a thing as dog blood donors, I know I didn't before I participated. Just like people, canine blood donors are giving the life saving gift of blood to other dogs. Last night was my last shift and there was a lot of great donors there. The owners of the dogs are pretty special people too, there are moms with kids, other AHTs, a paramedic student and an animal foster mom who has had over 80 foster animals through her home. Just wanted to tell you all about something you might not have known about. If you are interested in having your dog donate blood there is more info and the criteria your dog needs to meet here.

Toby donating blood at NAIT

Tiger Challenge

The Tiger Challenge was a great success as always, the I Ho Chuan team did a great job organizing. I am amazed as always with Sifu Wonsiak and her ability to organize and co ordinate every kid in that place and with a smile on her face too (plus she knows every kids name!!)
It was scary competing this year, I felt like I was in a category I didn't belong in with the other black belts. It was fun though and practice is never wasted. Holy cow though- watch out for Sifu Beckett, I had no idea she was such a fierce opponent in sparring! Really inspiring to see everyone out there.
I think the best part of the day was watching all of the faces through my camera. From the beginning with the lion dance right to the end with the trophy for black belt champion, it was awesome. Some of the best pictures are not the competitors faces but the faces of the spectators- they shine through despite my sad photography skills.
I was so so so proud of our advanced black dragons. I am honored to be a part of their training. I don't often  get to appreciate how far they have come since they came to us, but seeing the comparison on Saturday was striking. Not only in skill but the guts they showed competing, it's hard to get out there.
I was also busting at the seams proud of my two girls- especially my older daughter who is in the adult classes now and was the only young competitor (relatively young anyway-I'm not saying anyone's old!). Facing down an adult in a sparring match when your a 70 pound 12 year old girl takes some pluck, I know she wishes she had done better- but I couldn't have hoped for better. I can't wait to see where her training takes her. My younger daughter is at times hard to motivate lets say... But she set a goal for the tournament and really put it all out there, she did sleep with the trophy, but I drew the line at drinking out of it!
Congrats to all of our competitors and the spectators that helped make it a great event.

here tiger, tiger, tiger

The in house tournament is fast approaching. I feel very unprepared. I am doing all I can to be prepared, practice practice practice. I feel that the bar is so much higher this year now that I'm among the black belts. So intimidating! I was surprised to hear how many black belts and other students aren't competing after asking around this week. Something else I've learned by asking around is that most people that are competing really don't like competing, myself included. I hate being in front of people performing or talking...especially when you are being judged based on that performance. So why do we have a tournament every year if no one wants to compete in it? My thoughts on this are that this is a priceless opportunity. You are cheating yourself of a valuable training exercise by not entering. It's extremely hard to replicate a stress response in yourself while just practicing in class or during open training, the tournament gives this to you. I remember the first tournament I sparred in, I was a green belt I think...it was continuous sparring and we were about 30 seconds or so in and I thought I was going to pass out. My mind was racing and I thought oh my god I can't breath! I then realized I had been holding my breath for the entire match so far. What a relief to let that breath out! When placed in a stressful situation I hadn't had the presence of mind to breath...thought that one was automatic! How will you ever use anything you have learned and practiced at kung fu if you can't even remember how to breath when you are in a situation that you need to use it? Don't miss the opportunity to use this powerful training tool, you won't regret it. The practice you put into preparing is never wasted time no matter if you place or not in competition, plus you can say you had the courage to put yourself out there. You're training to be a martial artist- get out there!