thhhbbbt!

I knew that the beginning of my I Ho Chaun year and the end of school were close together when I signed up. I was worried that I would be spread too thin... and that's exactly what's happening. I feel like my year should have started with a bang, in previous UBBT years the beginning was always the easiest for me, it was easy to be motivated and driven especially at the start, but this year has started out feeling like a squeak instead.
I am just not able to put in the hours to my training that I would like to. In these final weeks of school I have been doing more traveling to off campus sites to complete my large animal skills and assessments and of course the tests, always the tests! It's the tests that keep my feeling like I am chained to my desk with my eyelids propped open with toothpicks staring at my books.
I am unsure what my practicum hours are right now so I'm worried about missing classes for the 6 weeks I will be there- I will be commuting to and from Westlock everyday. I haven't been able to make the first 2 meetings! Basically I feel stressed that I'm falling behind and I've had such a slow start, I feel a bit like dead weight on the team right now.
I know this will pass, I just wish it would happen sooner!

So close!

On March 22nd I will be done school. Everyone keeps saying "Can you believe there's only 2 weeks left?" Honestly my answer is no, I really can't. It's hard to believe the end is so close, it really doesn't feel like it, I feel like the time is going by so slowly. Sometimes during a lecture I feel that I really can't sit there for another second. Or in the morning when my alarm goes off and it feels like the middle of the night I think I would throw away all my education up until now just to sleep until I wasn't tired anymore. I feel constantly under pressure. I feel WEARY. I know I'm not the only one- we all experience this at some point.
I felt something similar to this coming up to my black belt grading day, not so much the weariness but the I can't believe this is actually happening part. I feel that going through the grading day taught me a lot about perseverance, because that is one of the biggest part of making it through that day, or it was for me. I know that right now I have to take each moment as it comes and try not to think about the one after that. Be in the moment and keep putting one foot in front of the other, eventually I'll get there!

Acts of kindness or not?

I was thinking about acts of kindness a few times this week and whether they count if they are done sort of begrudgingly. There is a spot in my commute from school where there are only 2 lanes of traffic. One lane is always backed way up with people waiting to merge onto the Yellowhead. There are so many times that someone zooms past everyone in the other lane and then signals to get in at the front of the line- blocking the other lane while doing so. Every fiber of my being tells me "we are NOT under ANY circumstances, letting this guy in!" It's really a matter of principle! I really feel like by letting this person in I'm losing in some way, or enabling them to keep doing it again. Of course there are the poor people stuck behind this guy so I guess by letting them in it could be an act of kindness to those drivers, but still if I let him in and I'm saying "your an idiot" to them in my head do I count it?
A garbage bag in the alley a few houses down from me was ripped open last week and there was nasty garbage all over the alley. I walk my dog that way 3 times a day and he would always manage to eat some of this grossness. At first I figured that the owners of the garbage didn't know it was ripped open, but then as new bags showed up I realized they had no plans to clean it up. Working in a vet clinic I see the effects of dogs with "garbage guts" and couldn't stand to know my dog managed to eat some every time we passed. I bit the bullet and went to clean it up. The entire time I was cleaning I was cursing these people, and the fact that the majority of the garbage was cigarette butts, greasy take out and rotting chicken bits didn't help. Was this really an act of kindness or does that fact that I got no satisfaction out of doing it cancel it out? Do I just need to work on my own enlightenment? Hmmm. What do you guys think?

I hate titles

Lots to think about this past week- I've never been very good at getting my thoughts down into words though. 

I've been trying to focus on getting to know my curriculum techniques better by working on one for a few weeks. It's funny how you think you know a technique and then you realize all this other stuff you've been missing, all the nuances, kind of like the difference between "twinkle twinkle" and a symphony. Definitely not at the symphony yet, but I'm excited about the progress. 

I'm a month away from the final exams of my last semester of school! Even though it's so close it feels never ending a bit, it's hard to imagine being done. I'm trying to have the mentality that all I have to do is put in the effort and the results will be there. 

Because I'm in school, I work a lot of Saturdays- I've never worked weekends before and I am missing the Saturday training. I'm hoping to work less weekends and get more weekend training in. 

I also have to remember to copy my blog posts to the I Ho Chuan group site- I forgot last week.

I'm hoping that the Friday classes will only go uphill for me as last Friday- very first class, the very first time I swing my cane around- I hit Sifu Brinker with it. The worst has happened, it can only get better right? Happy training everyone.

Goals

So my I Ho Chuan year has begun! I am glad to be back on the team, I felt a little lost last year not having set goals to work towards. As we all know those casual goals that we say we're going to do but then don't because we're not accountable to anyone but ourselves don't really happen, well, at least not for me anyway.  I am nervous that I'm going to like a chicken with my head cut off, but we'll see how it goes. I'm a little behind on being organized for the year. Adrien found a good website for tracking my goals that also has an app for my phone so I can easily log stuff when I'm out. It's www.42goals.com and it gives me a total count and how many I need to do every day to achieve my goal. I know that staying organized is going to be a big part of making this year successful.

Dogs helping Dogs

Judy, a blood donor dog

As part of the animal health program at NAIT, students are required to do shifts at various locations like the pound, the emergency clinic etc. We all have to do 4 shifts helping with blood bank. Most people don't realize that there is such a thing as dog blood donors, I know I didn't before I participated. Just like people, canine blood donors are giving the life saving gift of blood to other dogs. Last night was my last shift and there was a lot of great donors there. The owners of the dogs are pretty special people too, there are moms with kids, other AHTs, a paramedic student and an animal foster mom who has had over 80 foster animals through her home. Just wanted to tell you all about something you might not have known about. If you are interested in having your dog donate blood there is more info and the criteria your dog needs to meet here.

Toby donating blood at NAIT

Tiger Challenge

The Tiger Challenge was a great success as always, the I Ho Chuan team did a great job organizing. I am amazed as always with Sifu Wonsiak and her ability to organize and co ordinate every kid in that place and with a smile on her face too (plus she knows every kids name!!)
It was scary competing this year, I felt like I was in a category I didn't belong in with the other black belts. It was fun though and practice is never wasted. Holy cow though- watch out for Sifu Beckett, I had no idea she was such a fierce opponent in sparring! Really inspiring to see everyone out there.
I think the best part of the day was watching all of the faces through my camera. From the beginning with the lion dance right to the end with the trophy for black belt champion, it was awesome. Some of the best pictures are not the competitors faces but the faces of the spectators- they shine through despite my sad photography skills.
I was so so so proud of our advanced black dragons. I am honored to be a part of their training. I don't often  get to appreciate how far they have come since they came to us, but seeing the comparison on Saturday was striking. Not only in skill but the guts they showed competing, it's hard to get out there.
I was also busting at the seams proud of my two girls- especially my older daughter who is in the adult classes now and was the only young competitor (relatively young anyway-I'm not saying anyone's old!). Facing down an adult in a sparring match when your a 70 pound 12 year old girl takes some pluck, I know she wishes she had done better- but I couldn't have hoped for better. I can't wait to see where her training takes her. My younger daughter is at times hard to motivate lets say... But she set a goal for the tournament and really put it all out there, she did sleep with the trophy, but I drew the line at drinking out of it!
Congrats to all of our competitors and the spectators that helped make it a great event.