A little inspiration for some perspiration!

I almost forgot to blog this week! Time is just flying by these days. Life is a bit of a three ring circus right now, but whose isn't right? I've written and deleted two different posts now, blogging has been more of a challenge lately because I feel like if I write about what is happening in my life I could just copy and paste my post from last week. Life continues to be hectic and my schedule looks the same... wake up, go to school, go to kung fu, sleep and repeat.

I am struggling to find ways to inspire some of my students, how can I make this matter to them, how do I find a connection that means something to them? If there is no connection for you, there is no passion, no interest. The green belts are working on stick for the Chinese new year demo, and I want to light a fire under them, some of them have it, some don't. Sifu Playter has agreed to come into the class and provide a little inspiration with a demo. I hope that having something to aspire to will do the trick for a few of them, if any of you need a little inspiration as far as your stick practice goes you are welcome to watch the end of the black dragons class on Monday... Sifu Playter's dedication and skill to weapons will make the hair on the back of your neck stand up, which is exactly what I want the green belts to do on Chinese new year. Have a good week everyone!

Good reading

There was a lot of really great blog posts this week, I always read the journal entries before I blog to see where everyone is at and sometimes for inspiration in my own entry. Even so, I don't have much to say this week, I'm struggling to stay on track in a few aspects of my life as there are a lot of things that are all supposed to be my #1 priority. I don't want to complain, it's just hard to put into words and I'm sure everyone has felt this way at some time or another. I do know that I can do this, I just have to keep on truckin', and sometimes just staying the course is the hardest thing. Today I had a nap for the first time in almost a year and it was pretty wonderful so I can't complain. Have a good week everyone.

time

It's a long weekend and it feels like early Christmas. Free time is hard to come by these days. For awhile I was resenting other people's free time and what they did in it, or rather the lack of what they did in it. Fellow students at school would talk about how they watched T.V. instead of studying or went to the bar and I would get so exasperated, thinking you are absolutely squandering all that free time! What I wouldn't give for that time! But I do have free time, I just have less than some, but still more than others and maybe it's in smaller pockets rather than hours at a time. Being very busy has made me appreciate the moments I have more than I used to. If traffic is good and I get home 15 minutes early I can have a tea with Adrien before I leave for kung fu and he leaves for work... 15 minutes didn't used to seem like much but now it's like a little oasis in the desert. Taking an extra 10 minutes to say goodnight to the kids and talk about their concerns at the end of the day allows us to reconnect and feel close, and I feel recharged enough to keep my nose in the books a little longer. Losing most of my leisure time has improved the quality of the time I do have, so no matter how busy we get, because it seems like we're all running all the time, take your 5 minutes and really enjoy it and don't think about what is going to happen after that 5 minutes- take it and get the most out of it because you've earned it.

Lucky

I've been thinking lately about how lucky I am. I would like to say that I think some people's idea of "luck" is a little skewed before I continue. There is a big difference between working hard for something and luck. I've had people say "oh your so lucky" about something that I've worked really hard for and I kind of resent it a little. Luck had nothing to do with us buying a house for example, we had to work hard and save the money, and we continue to work hard to keep it!

Some things are "luck" if you will. I am very lucky to have been born in Canada, especially as a woman. I try to imagine what it would be like to have been born into a society that considered me a second class citizen, a possession even, based on my gender-I can't imagine it. I am lucky to have the opportunity to go back to school so I can have a career I love. Last year I upgraded and I worked hard and got good grades (something else that people consider "luck" when its plain hard work) and I got a small scholarship, nothing crazy, $500. I have been waiting for my cheque in the mail, thinking of all the things I couldn't wait to get with my hard earned cash. I realized I am lucky to have the luxury to spend money on things I don't really need. I started to think about the girls in Malawi who have so little control over what happens in their lives, how unattainable education is for most of them, based on the place they were born and their gender. I realized that $500 would mean a heck of a lot more to one of them than it will to me. Do I really care more about he boots I wanted than changing a life? No, I really don't. So, I will be happily sending my scholarship on to one of the Malawi girls, it just seems right.

That's a big pile of wood you've got there

Today one of the vets that teaches my anatomy and physiology class was talking about the stress that a lot of students experience at this time of year and how it's important to address any problems you may be having. He used the analogy of chopping a huge amount of wood. You have this massive pile of wood you have to chop and the axe your using is dull, someone comes by and suggests that you sharpen your axe to make the job easier and you reply, "I don't have time for that! I'm too busy, I have this huge pile of wood to chop!"

It makes a lot of sense when someone presents it to you like that, but I know how hard it can be to stop and sharpen the axe, even when it seems like your stopping the forward momentum you feel you have. When all we do is forge ahead in a daunting task without regard for how we get there (as long as I just get there!) we'll usually find that we're going to have to go back anyway and clean up the mess we made on the way. As I try to progress with my kung fu, I will try to keep my axe sharp and move forward with purpose and efficiency, rather than blindly hacking my way.

Internal kung fu

This week is all about applying my kung fu to the rest of my life. I have been reminding myself to breath in and out, to focus on what I'm doing, if I've made a mistake it's ok, I'm moving on and focusing on what is in front of me. I actually relaxed so much in between questions during a timed station to station exam I think I fell asleep for a second- granted it was monday morning, but still! Today in clinic I had a uncooperative dog in a wicked side mount... no seriously trying to throw off the guys in san shou prepared me more than I knew for animal restraint. This week has and will continue to be one of the most mentally challenging ones yet, I can hardly wait for midterms to be over! With 10 courses on my plate it's going to take awhile. I can't wait to get out of the books and onto the mats.

insert ominous music here

There is so much going through my head right now I'm having a hard time narrowing anything down to write about. Everything in time is referenced against this Saturday.... before grading and after grading. I feel a little like I'm trying to brace myself to get punched in the face... are you ever ready for that? Ok, all kidding aside I have worked hard this year but it always feels like I could use more time to make everything better. Have a good week everyone, see you on the other side (of Saturday!)