Wake me up when it's over

So June has started out pretty much exactly the opposite of how I envisioned it. I don't like playing catch up on my requirements so I told myself I'd be starting out June with a bang. Turns out it was more like tthhhbbbb..... Whatever I thought I had fixed with my health is back. I went and saw a naturopath doctor this week, she was helpful, but of course we still don't know what the actual problem is, so how to treat it is still a mystery. I am having some tests done this week, I don't know whats worse, finding something or not finding something. I am having a really hard time dealing with the frustration of not being able to do the things I normally do. Not only on the physical side, but I have classically been the one to friends and family that can always help out or do a favor, pretty much anything. My brand new nephew was diagnosed with something called congenital adrenal hyperlasia this week. Long story short, his adrenal glands don't work. My sister in law stayed at the Stollery with him and my brother went in between home and the hospital with their 18 month old. I would usually be the one to jump up and take my niece and bring dinners, whatever. But I couldn't do anything to help. I feel so impotent! There are so many people with serious, chronic health issues that do amazing things and overcome huge obstacles, I wonder how they find the strength to do it. I have missed another week of class, and I will miss some next week too, because of the tests I'm getting done. I REALLY hate missing class. I struggle with negative thoughts and feeling sorry for myself, which I don't like to admit, but it's true. I never know day to day how I am going to feel so my plan is to pack in as much training as I can when I feel good. I feel like this is like empathy training a bit, you just don't appreciate good health until it's gone. There is a lot of great support around me at Silent River and at home, so this week my goal is to dig deep, find my inner strength and stay positive and connected.