It's the little things

There are days that I don't even come close to fulfilling my acts of kindness requirement, there are days that have twice the amount I need and there are days that one thing happens that makes it feel like it's all worth it. There have been a few days where I offered help and ended up feeling a little silly when it wasn't needed, but the times that it is makes it worth the embarrassment. There was a lady struggling with an overloaded shopping cart in the parking lot and I automatically asked if she needed help, feeling sure that she would say she was fine. She looked so relieved and said would you mind? It actually made my day. Hey, I made someones life a little easier today and that's pretty cool. I feel like even though sometimes my acts of kindness fall behind on a daily basis that it has changed the way I go about my everyday life. Its so easy to walk around in your own world thinking of this or that and most of us hurry everywhere we go because we're all so busy. It's rare to walk past someone and make eye contact, but I think that it's important for us to put a face to all the strangers that we exist side by side with everyday, it makes it easier to help each other, and there should really be more of that in the world.

Sorry doesn't always make it better

When I chose my UBBT requirements, mending 3 relationships stood out for me. Although I could only think of one relationship that I needed to mend, it was a big one, and I chose this as one of my requirements.

The person who I wanted to mend things with was very close to me, and why we no longer talk is long and way to hard to explain without 3 hours of back story. In short, I tried to mend a relationship between this person and someone else we were mutually close to. As a result this person will no longer have any contact with me. I have always been a “fixer”. Most of the time it has worked out ok for me, but certainly not this time.

I feel a real sense of failure at this point in time because despite all my best attempts, this person does not want this relationship to be mended. I realize that you can’t make someone forgive you, or want to be a part of your life no matter how much you want them to or no matter how much it means to you. This has been the hardest realization of my life. I have had many sleepless nights and have run the gamut of emotions thinking of the situation and what I could or should do differently. I worry that I could have done something different or that I haven’t done the right thing. In the end I have had to look long and hard at myself and admit that it wasn’t all the other persons fault, that I played a part in the end of the relationship, that I did do some of the things I was accused of doing. Although I never did get to talk to this person, I did send a message owning up to my part in the breakdown of things. It hasn’t fixed anything between us, but I find myself more at peace with the situation and I realize that it was more to do with the fact that I was honest with myself about my own behavior instead of trying to justify my own wrongs with the other persons mistakes.

A little bit of this

I have written about 5 different journal entries and deleted all of them. I am really scattered with my thoughts right now, I think I have too many things kicking around in there. March has started off really well with all my UBBT requirements. I started the month off with a day of 1000 pushups and situps which was a great jump start. The sparring has been going great, thanks to my husband who is willing to spar anytime, as well as the jujitsu, which has been tons of fun. I have really plateaued with my kempo form, I know all the moves, they just don't look like they mean anything right now. I am going to consider this a learning tool, even though it is frustrating because I am struggling with it.Training without purpose or focus won't get me anywhere. I am going to break the form down and work on small pieces for now. As always I am so grateful for being a part of the UBBT and the changes it has brought to my life.

Living Hero #2 Rick Hansen

My second living hero is Rick Hansen, another Canadian, who grew up in Williams Lake British Columbia, where I also lived for a few years as a kid. Rick Hansen was paralyzed from the waist down when he was 15 after being thrown from the back of a truck. I can’t imagine how devastating that would be to anyone especially a teenager who loved sports. He started rehabilitation, finished high school and then graduated from the University of British Columbia as the first student with a physical disability to earn his degree in physical education. He went on to play wheelchair basketball and volleyball and also became a world class wheelchair marathoner.

Rick was inspired by his friend Terry Fox who attempted the 8.000 km trek across Canada to raise money for cancer research. He started his Man in Motion tour in March of 1985. He went on a 26 month journey, racking up over 40.000 km in 34 countries. The circumference of the earth is approximately the same distance. Can you imagine traveling around the world in a wheelchair? He raised over $26 million for spinal cord research and quality of life initiatives. I got to meet Rick Hansen at my elementary school during his tour. I will never forget meeting him and being so amazed as a 6 year old that someone could, or more so, would choose to wheelchair across the world for something they believed in.

I will be thinking of Rick Hansen when I have my day in a wheelchair and the amazing things that one person accomplished despite his physical limitations.

The gift of life

The last couple of weeks have been a huge challenge for me. My dad was back in the hospital with bleeding ulcers possibly caused by the medication given to him the last time he was in. I never realized that bleeding ulcers were life threatening. All told he lost 5 units of blood through holes in his stomach. It makes my stomach hurt to think of it. It also has never hit so close to home how important it is to give blood. His life was saved with blood transfusions from donors. I know we've all heard the slogans etc. about how giving blood is the gift of life, but I don't know if a lot of people really realize it is. I am so grateful to anyone out there who has donated blood, or tried to. I think that one of my community projects might come from what has happened with my dad these past few weeks. Well, we got a happy ending, he's doing well, which I am so grateful for. I want to send out a thanks to my kung fu family for being supportive and asking about my dad, and especially Sifu Shipalesky for getting so many positive thoughts going his way.