It was a really weird week. I really don't know where else to go. I start to write about stuff and it just gets too jumbled up and I can't even come close to explaining it in any way that would make sense without 2 or 3 hours of back story.
I saw my sister this week. I haven't seen her for a year... really long story, not a good one. The weird thing is that I didn't know I was going to see her, she was at a family function and so was I. She just acted like nothing had happened or that we haven't seen each other forever and it was strange. Really strange. It was great to see her, and my nieces. The younger one doesn't remember me, but the older one was totally overjoyed to see me and my girls, that was awesome. On the drive home I fell into this deep funk. I just don't know how to deal with seeing her and being torn between just being OK with the way things are and feeling like, hey there's all this stuff we haven't dealt with yet, which would completely drive her away again. That and sitting on the freeway for an hour and a half in construction traffic and missing the class I was supposed to teach.
Well, it's all still unresolved and I expect it will stay that way for awhile. I am trying to make patience a part of my life, but it's harder than I thought. I am grateful for any steps in the right direction, I just hope I'm actually going in the right direction.
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