Recovery

I am in a constant struggle with myself. Patience and progressing wisely and pushing myself and training hard. I am starting to realize that I can still do both but I will admit to a bit of an ego that is holding back my recovery. I enjoy being a woman who can play hard. I like sparring, take downs and grappling. There is a part of me that is proud of the bumps and bruises I've gotten along the way. I didn't mind being the only woman in the San Shou class, even though it meant I got my butt handed to me most days. I always felt like if there was something that a lot of people were worried about doing I should jump in head first; I think in a way I am always trying to prove myself. I don't know if it's because I thought if I didn't I would be perceived as weaker or softer, and for some reason, to me, that was a fate worse than death.

So now I'm paying the price for my stupidity. I have continued to train in a way that has further aggravated my injuries. I'm between a rock and a hard place. It's take it easy or nothing. The first thing to change has to be my attitude. I have to stop seeing things I can't do as a weakness, I have plenty of great examples at the kwoon of people who train hard around injuries or limitations. I need to be creative- learning new ways to get the most out of my training while listening to my body. I will focus on the aspects of my training that I can push myself and make those the best they can be.

I have finally started a supplement regime for my joints and I am crossing my fingers that I will see results. Being forced to slow down has changed my perception of myself and those who train around me also coping with injuries or limitations. I will stop seeing these things as weaknesses, rather as an opportunity to focus and gain strength in other areas. Here's to recovery!