51

So this will be my 51st and last blog entry of UBBT 6. So I guess I've sat here 51 times trying to write. The blogging is still pretty painful, but I guess I've become more ok with the fact that my blog will never be the most interesting read, that it's more of a tool for me.
I am excited to have new goals to work on, and having my husband in 7 will be a great motivator. Having the phys-out web site will be great for me to keep my numbers in perspective. I feel more prepared this time around, I have a pedometer for example, so I'm sure that will make the kms challenge better (having failed miserably this time around). I'm excited to have new team members, there are more non black belt student members in 7 and so I feel there will be more of a team feel for me as I don't really train with any black belts other than Adrien.
This feels sort of anti climactic, as I won't really be ending anything, just heading straight into UBBT 7, but I do feel a sense of beginning again. Can't wait to see where the next year will take me.

countdown

So we're in the home stretch. Pushups felt great today... I'm so excited that my body isn't going to have to get used to doing all the pushups like it did for the beginning of 6! Not a lot to say today, the past year in review has been amazing. I am somewhere I never thought I'd get to, it feels awesome

Busy doesn't do it justice

When I tell people I've been busy lately it falls woefully short of how crazy I feel right now. I have been struggling to keep my head out of the water as far as my requirements go since the beginning of the month. I wanted to end UBBT 6 with a bang and instead its that farty sound when you let a balloon out slowly. I have wondered so many times if it was wise for me to do the UBBT again when I am under so much stress. I always come back to the idea that it isn't about having perfect numbers, its about staying the course. Well, OK the numbers are important too. I have finished one project this week so I have a little more time at night now and I'm hoping that I can finish the second half of the month with the big hurrah I was going for. Part of my plan for UBBT 7 is to be smarter with my goals, get a pedometer for example. Having better recording methods and using as much of my regular routine like work etc. to my advantage. So that's the plan Stan. Better get busy. I mean busier.

Living Hero #3 Ayan Hersi

Ayan Hersi is a Somalian refugee that grew up in Canada. As a child her father was deported and her mother struggled to raise 5 children on social assistance. Growing up with her mothers support and the strength she had witnessed in the Somali refugees she resolved to be the first woman in her family to graduate university.
She ran for school president in high school and when she was told that she should run for something less demanding because she was a young black woman, she became more determined to win and did with her mothers strong support, becoming the first black woman to be president of the school council.
In the aftermath of 9-11 she started and anti racial campaign for the Muslim students who were experiencing an increase in bullying, threats and insults.
At the University of Toronto she assumed a leadership role in AIDS education, anti racial and anti violence advocacy. She spearheads human rights training for women in Namibia, Kenya, and Somalia. As a part of the United Nations Development she spent the summer of 2007 in Namibia as part of the University of Toronto HIV/AIDS academic field project. Ayan worked with the local women to advocate for anonymous HIV/AIDS testing, counselling and treatment and prevention programs.
She supports disabled students, ensuring they receive accommodations and financial assistance to succeed in school. Ayan is the founder of Youth in Touch, a youth led, non profit organization that provides young people with access to networking skills, money management, legal rights and access to education.
Ayan Hersi is an amazing young woman, she is my living hero #3.

What the UBBT has done for me

So, what has the Ultimate Black Belt Test really done for me? I wrote a draft for this entry on paper and ended up scribbling out most of it. I can't seem to come up with a combination of words that seems to portray the gravity of what it has done for me. When people I know ask me about it, it's the same thing, it just doesn't come out sounding like it means as much as it does.
Life changing sounds cliche, but that's exactly what this last year has been. Physically I am in the best shape of my life, I am capable of doing more than I ever thought possible with my body. I have pushed it past the point of exhaustion so many times this year. How many times have I forced myself down to do push ups when I felt like I was just not able to do anything more than fall into bed? I realize that although the physical requirements help get you into shape that isn't the point. It's about doing them when you don't feel like it and when your tired. The UBBT has given me that discipline.
The acts of kindness have taught me how to be mindful in my everyday life. I am more organized, I've had to be or I wouldn't be able to get anything done in a day. I have really been forced out of my shell this year. I have done so many things that I've never done before because I thought I wouldn't be able to do them or just kept putting them off. How many people can say that? The UBBT gave me the confidence to try things and also took away all the excuses I had. Although I will not fulfill most of my requirements I couldn't be happier with how this journey has gone.

I'm actually a senior citizen

Another really busy week, not that there are any other kind these days. I have joined the lion dance class on Friday nights so I'm there every day except Saturdays now. Lion dance was really fun this week, I actually got in the head of one of the lions with Sifu Behringer as my tail. Even though I kept messing up my stepping patterns, was not in time with the beat at all and my lion probably had that duh! look because I forgot to keep it's mouth closed, it was great. As a tail my head kept poking up too high so there is lots to work on.

I had acupuncture for what I thought was carpal tunnel syndrome. The acupuncturist thinks it is something to do with a nerve bundle in my neck... thoracic something, I can't remember what it's called darn it! Basically I have strengthened myself one sided so now there are muscles pressing on the nerves and it's making my hands fall asleep and causing pain etc. I am supposed to go back in a week for another session and start doing rowing exercises.

I went to the doctor today for a suspicious spot I have, turns out it's not suspicious it's an age spot. I guess I am old enough to be getting age spots. I also confirmed with her I have a hernia, what with that the kidney stones and now age spots, I feel like I am turning into a 70 year old man! So my abdominal muscles are separated (probably from being pregnant) and that's why this is happening. I don't know if there was an actual event or a gradual series of events that caused it. Unless it gets worse I am OK as I am, no surgery needed, hurray! She told me that strengthening my abs will help. I laughed...how does 50,000 sit ups sound?

Acupuncture

When I first started doing all the push ups for the UBBT my carpal tunnel syndrome started to get really bad. I could only do a few push ups and my thumbs and first two fingers would fall asleep. I bought myself a wrist brace and continued with the push ups. It actually helped a lot. I had no symptoms as my muscles got stronger and as my wrists got used to the position.
Since starting full time work at the barn the increased workload has been terrible for my wrists. There is very little I can do without my hands falling asleep and weakness in my right hand. I no longer sleep through the night as the pain wakes me up frequently. Days that I do a lot of pushups are better, my aunt was telling me that stretching your wrists helps so I think that must be why.
Tomorrow I am going to my first acupuncture appointment to see what he can do for me. I am hoping there is something I can do besides have the surgery to make this go away. I think the surgery is something like 6 weeks of not using your hands too much... I'll do it if I have to but I really don't want to. So, I'm excited to see what he has to say and hopeful it will help.

One day mute

Today was my one day mute. This was a lot harder than I thought it would be, of course. That's the point. For one, I talked a few times... I said sorry to Mr. Gamble when I landed on him instead of over him, I said this isn't a cat stance? I also kinda yelled in traffic and I said I'll... to my daughter. I said ouch too.
I did the warm up for the kids class tonight, Sifu Wilson told everyone I was mute for the day and away we went. It worked out pretty well. At least they were all paying attention anyway, they kinda had to.
There were some funny moments, I'm trying to pantomime something and Adrien says what, Timmy's in the well? Ha ha. I smacked him for that one.
So I went out and did errands today and at the beginning it wasn't too bad. A few people thought I was sick and were really helpful. At one place a salesperson came over and asked me a question that I could answer with a nod and then I did the sign language thank you to him. He actually backed away a few steps and said "okay then" I felt a little like I was contagious or something. I don't think he was being rude, I think he just didn't know what to do with me. At the grocery store it was really busy and it was hard to negotiate my way through crowded aisles without being able to say excuse me or sorry when I was in the way. A lot of people won't make eye contact so the smile and wave I was relying on to ease things along didn't work very well. The clerk seemed annoyed that I was not communicating in a way that pleased her, again she wouldn't really make eye contact so I couldn't do my whole I can't talk thing.
I felt isolated for a lot of the day. Speech is a powerful tool and without it I felt a little helpless. I felt like some people assumed that I had less than normal intelligence. By the time I got to write something down on my little pad of paper it wasn't relevant anymore.
All in all a really eye opening experience. I just put my kids to bed and I think all our good nights were a little more meaningful because I had to show them that I loved them instead of saying it. The hugs were a little tighter and I felt a little teary putting all that love into a hug. There are advantages to communicating without words.

Tick Tock

So a few people have blogged about how there are only eight weeks left to UBBT 6. Crazy. It actually went by really fast. It doesn't really feel like it's ending since I'll be going right into 7. I don't know if I am going to succeed in all of my goals. I realize now that some of them may have been more than I expected them to be, but I am still trying to make it and hopefully I will. I need to go back to my original list and make sure I haven't missed anything. I still need to do my deaf, mute and in a wheelchair days. I suppose I need to find out about getting a wheelchair. Maybe you can rent them? As always time seems to be rushing on by with no regard for those of us squandering it. I have to be ultra vigilant with writing down my acts of kindness, I am behind in this mostly because I have days that I don't write them down and then they're lost forever, well, I suppose I still did it which is good, but it doesn't count in the numbers sense of things. So I plan on picking up the pace for the last two months and finishing UBBT 6 with a bang.

at least work makes the time go by faster

So I guess I'm not really looking for work anymore. The barn manager quit so now I have as many hours as I want. Hurray! Job hunting was no fun. Part of the reason that I like my job is because it's physically demanding. I don't always appreciate that while I'm doing it, but I love the benefits that I see later. My upper body strength has come a really long way with the combination of work and the UBBT. Today after class there were a few people talking about the upcoming UBBT 7 and it was really exciting. I am looking forward to a year of new challenges with some new faces in there.
My husband has been gone away for work training for a little over a week now. He is gone for a total of 2 weeks. We've been married for 11 years and I think the most we've been apart is 2 days. I suppose that might seem weird to some, but we just have always done everything together. He really is my best friend and also my training partner for kung fu and jiu jitsu. He's also going to be a part of UBBT 7 so that will be pretty great.
I've been spending a lot of quality time with my 2 daughters doing all kinds of little things together to make the time go by faster. Honestly I thought that being alone with the kids would make me crazy, well not for real but that I need a break feeling that every mom gets. But they have been so awesome. They have their moments but as a whole I've realized that I have some amazing kids. I always knew that, and every parent thinks so of their own kids but this week just made me appreciate some of the little things about them both.
I've been learning a new form, stick 3, and it's really cool. Having something new to throw into the forms mix is great. I feel really awkward at the end when we have to do a 360 that ends with a strike. It was actually funny how bad I am at it. I've been practicing and it's certainly not graceful but it's better than it was anyway. I also found out I've been doing something wrong in long 2, not huge, but still it's going to be one of those things I will have to do a hundred times to fix. I guess there is always something to work on, even when there isn't anything new.

Back to the gym

I really thought that this summer I would really rack up the kms on my bike. I bought an odometer for it and everything. It did work but a lot of times I have my kids with me and they don't really make it too far on the bikes. My youngest is 6 and I figure she pedals about 3 or 4 times to my one. Thats my excuse anyway. I have been paying my gym membership all summer and haven't been once. Huge waste of money. So tomorrow will be my first day back to the gym, I really need to get my kms back into my routine. I am sadly behind and I hope I can catch up with some diligence. This will also give me time to do my french lessons, I pedal and repeat french phrases... I have given up on trying to not look like a weirdo at the gym. My french has also fallen by the wayside. I am posting that I am not doing well in these areas so that I will be accountable and get my butt in gear. I've got to go dust off my running shoes.

My rock hard.... kidney

So not too much going on this week as far as training goes. My knee injury seems to be slowly getting better, I keep messing up my toes now and I've decided to just keep them taped up for the time being. Ju jitsu has been great lately, learning some new sweeps and locks, it's a lot of fun.
I was pretty sure I had kidney stones again and my results from my ultrasound last week show that there is 3, 2 getting kind of big and one on the smaller side. Normally they don't bother my but when they move it's extremely painful and I never know when that will happen. I guess I have to go have lithotripsy again (where they blast the stones into tiny pieces) it's not really a big deal, it's just the time it takes to see a specialist and then wait again for the appointment. I don't like the fact that my kidneys don't work the way they should. Mind you the sponge kidney thing I have is pretty minor in the scheme of things and rarely leads to more serious problems. I should count my blessings. I am thankful for my health and my amazing family who is always supportive of me. After spellchecking this blog I had to mention that the closest spelling suggestions for lithotripsy was deathtrap. Weird.

Mental health awareness- Unipolar depression

So this week is mental health awareness week, Sifu Behringer put it out there to the school to raise awareness. I chose unipolar depression because it has directly affected my life. Someone close to me suffers from this form of depression. Unfortunately there is a stigma attached to mental health disorders (hence mental health awareness week) and most people who know him other than close family and friends don't know that he has struggled with this for years. He worries that if people knew it would change how they look at him, or that he wouldn't be able to get work. He has always seen this struggle as a weakness on his part. Unipolar as opposed to bipolar, is someone who suffers from depression lows rather than the highs and lows of bipolar. People with unipolar depression will have a regular day to day life but will have depressive episodes that disrupt their normal life. These episodes can range from mild to severe and affect work, relationships, eating and sleeping habits and general health. During a depressive episode there are feelings of worthlessness, inappropriate guilt and regret, self loathing, and hopelessness. Seeing someone you love struggle through one of these episodes is scary. When someone suffers from depression, the usual hey it's ok, you'll get through it doesn't work. I think it's hard for most people to grasp the idea of not being able to just snap out of it. The worst part is a lot of times you don't know if they are having an episode as withdrawal from normal activities and communication is common.
Over the last year I have learned a lot about depression. I've realized that having a mental illness is just the same as someone suffering from a physical disability, but that most people don't see it that way. You wouldn't tell someone who was in a wheelchair to just get over it and start walking, but that is how a lot of people see depression, as something that they have control over. I hope that we can change the way people see mental illness and the way that people who live with them are treated. There is a ton of information out there about depression and it is very common. Educating ourselves is a step in the right direction to make positive changes.

It was totally worth it

4 years ago I learned how to windsurf. Adrien was really into it and it looked fun so I tried it. It was actually really hard to learn, I didn't really get why he liked it so much. I fell backwards into the water, many many times. I drank a lot of lake water, I skinned my knees and elbows a lot. I would be in the middle of a crazy wind out on the lake swearing and screaming as loud as I could because it just wasn't working. I did stick with it and I remember the first time that I planed, my sail was just right and it felt like my board got picked up from under my feet and I was flying. All of the sudden all my gear was weightless and I was skimming over the water. It was one of the coolest experiences ever. There is still no comparison to the feeling of flying across the water under the power of the wind. I actually got tattooed with the wind on my back and the waves at my feet. I haven't been able to go much this summer, just with being busy and getting the right conditions when you are able to go. This week we got to go out, maybe for the last time this season. I do have a wetsuit, but when it's only 2 or 3 degrees and the wind is howling it can be a little tougher to make yourself get out there. Anyway, it was a beautiful day, the sun was shining and it was warm. I made a huge breakthrough with something I've just not tried to do because I couldn't the other times I'd tried. It was awesome, I tried to yell out to Adrien but over the wind and the waves you can hardly hear anything, so instead I just yelled it out knowing that no one could hear me and it was ok if I sounded ridiculous. Very therapeutic, kinda like sound focus. I think a lot of people would feel better if they could just yell once it awhile. So it was a pretty great end to the summer for me, and I'll dream about the wind at my back and the waves at my feet during the winter ahead.

Kindess all around

Last week we gave the advanced black dragons class a homework assignment to each do at least one act of kindness before the next class and remember it so they could share it with everyone. It actually turned out really well. Homework from kung fu can be pretty easy for kids to forget about. There was only two kids who didn't have one, but I think it was more like can't think of anything on the spot nervousness. Their creativity was great and Sifu Wilson, Sihing Wonsiak and myself all shared our acts of kindness too. I know that a lot of times kids are thinking of something else while someone is talking but I hope that they remember this and it will make them think of it again when the opportunity for kindness arrises. I really like to think of those guys out there last week doing something nice for someone else. It's like little sparks of light that hopefully got passed on. My oldest daughter is almost 9 and I am starting to remember how hard it is to be a kid. It's not like kindergarten anymore when everyone is friends and no one is ever left out or teased. I would love to be a part of the reason that there was a little bit of kindness for a kid at school or on the playground.
On a totally different note, my feet are a mess. All of my toes hurt, especially the joints connecting my toes to my metatarpals. I don't even know how I did it. I know that the last week of august I twisted my big toe during a takedown and it's still all messed up. I don't know what to do with toe injuries, it seems minor but it actually effects more than I thought. I have trouble pivoting on the ball of my foot for kicks, and actually kicking things feels not so hot too. I suspect it's the ju jitsu thats doing it, but I don't know what I'm doing wrong or how to fix it. oh well, it's tape for now, and as much rest as I can.

ending and beginning

So it really feels like fall now even though the weather has been amazing this past week. I think everyone is out there enjoying the weather even more because we know it will be gone soon. The big tree in my yard is almost completely yellow now, it turns early and acts as my marker for fall. I pulled a lot of stuff out of the garden this weekend and we winterized the rv so camping is officially over too. I love the fall and the respite it brings from watering and upkeep of the green things in the summer. Even as I type this though, there is two crabapple trees and about 20 pounds of tomatoes staring at me saying "do something with us!" I always appreciate the fact that we can a lot of stuff in the fall and summer, but I don't actually enjoy the process very much, fitting it in my schedule can be hectic and usually means I stay up really late canning. Not as awesome as it sounds. Haha.
This week Adrien and I are starting our yearly detox which is basically 21 days of super clean eating. I always feel awesome when we do this but I have this sick love of junk food and things that are bad for me, and coffee of course, oh coffee I will miss you. It will be good though, the summer has made me soft. I am looking forward to the structure.

renos and stuff

This week was renovations and clean up at the kwoon and I was more involved this year than any others. It was a great experience, I got to know people that I hardly ever talk to. My girls had a great time running around the place doing odd jobs and goofing around with their Sifus and instructors, there are some awesome people at Silent River and I'm glad my kids have the opportunity to have them as role models. It was also pretty great to be part of the reason that Silent River is looking amazing right now. The week off of kung fu has not been great for keeping up my motivation. Going to class and being around like minded people is a big motivator.
So on a completley different note I was thinking about how what people expect from you is related to what they are capable of. Like someone who can only do 1 pushup is going to be pretty impressed with someone who can do 50....but if someone has never done a pushup they have no appreciation of how hard it can be to get up to doing 50 pushups. Or if someone you work with does a half baked job of what they do, they won't really mind if you do a half baked job too. I think that I would like to set my standards higher and stop being ok with mediocre effort from people, no matter what it is.

In the moment

Once when I was about 12 years old I had this weird experience, well not weird but really hard to define. I was running through a path in the bush, dodging tree branches and jumping over logs and tree roots and just feeling like I could jump as high as the treetops and run as long as I wanted to without ever getting tired. After I stopped running I went and got a drink of water and had this moment where I think I fully appreciated how amazing it was that my body was like a machine in the way that all the parts worked together and was capable of doing all of these things, like carry me through the bush on a path full of obstacles. I am not really doing this moment justice, it's really hard to explain, but I think it was the first time I remember feeling so alive and young and healthy. I'm sure everyone has had experiences where you are almost outside yourself when you execute a technique perfectly or throw that amazing side kick that just feels so effortless and you think wow! It was kind of like that. This summer I have had more and more times when I have these moments. And just now writing this blog entry I think I've realized why. (hey, journaling is good) I am living in the moment so much more than I ever have been. I think it goes where am I? what am I doing?. Might sound familiar to a few people. I have learned how to focus on what I am doing right now and it has made me appreciate the smallest things, and to recognize them for the gift that they are.

Waffle

Summer is coming to an end and although it makes me sad I think getting back into the school year routine will be good for me. I have managed to keep up with my requirements for most of the summer, but august, with all the vacation and time away from the kwoon has made me lazy. I am going to be looking for work since my summer employment will be over soon. I'm really apprehensive about it, I haven't had to really apply for a job since before I had kids, which is about 9 years now. I have been lucky enough to have opportunitys fall in front of me. I always thought that by the time my youngest was in school full time that I would have decided what I wanted to do with the rest of my life career wise. Do I want to go to school, or just work wherever? and if I do go to school, I don't even know what I want to do. Over the years I have forced myself to be decisive because I tend to waffle and then miss out on things because I never got around to making up my mind. Huge waste of time. But here I am waffling. The only thing I am sure of is I don't want to wish I had done something else with my life.

Shock to the system

Just got back from the big family vacation, it was really nice. It was weird to be away from kung fu for so long, but once your back it's like you never left. One thing about being away is the punishment your body takes when you get back. Eating badly plus no exercise equals pain in the end. It also equals lesson learned (if I was smart, which I wasn't.) So you know the first class back will be brutal and it was. It was a crazy workout which was good, but my legs still feel weak tonight and I know they will be sore tomorrow. What doesn't kill me makes me stronger right?

Pushups in weird places, and strange forms of conditioning

I have been away from the kwoon a lot lately, due to prior obligations and holidays with the family. It's been really weird, I think this is the most time I've ever been away from class. It does make it more of a challenge to get going on doing my pushups, situps and forms. I've been doing my pushups on the beach, in the trailer, at the park, even in peoples bathrooms. It's been interesting. My Internet has been sketchy too, I keep getting kicked off, so I better write fast.
The horse running went well, I did what I was supposed to, and made it out of it with only a few injuries. I got kicked by foal a few times so I've got some bruises, but hey, what martial arts student isn't covered in bruises? It was funny, during the mare inspection I'm running the horse around and her foal goes a bit crazy running past us, bucking and kicking, (which was how I got kicked) So I catch a stray hoof in the stomach, but hey, how many times have I been kicked in the stomach? Someone commented later about how they would have been in a heap on the ground and my boss says, oh she's a karate girl... of course everyone that knows I'm in martial arts thinks it's karate for some reason. It was kind of funny anyway, and it was true, my conditioning definitely saved me that time.
So the challenge this week is to do all my requirements while travelling, should be fun.

blaahg... I mean blog

I find the blogging requirement painful sometimes... as I'm sure do a lot of others. I am leaving for a few days so I have to blog now, and the inspiration has not struck me.
I have been doing something called running horses lately. I am running or being the handler for a few horses that my employers are taking for judging this week coming. Basically my job is to show off the horse to it's best advantage. I walk and run the horse around to show off to the judges. Hopefully the horse gets a good score and is then more desirable for breeding etc. Running in an arena full of loose dirt is really hard on the legs. More so because your controlling a horse with one hand and you've got a whip your supposed to hide in the other. It's strange to run without your arms doing what they always do. Well, it will all be over on the 5th and my legs can recover. Hoping to not injure myself somehow before then.

It's all white noise in there

It was a really weird week. I really don't know where else to go. I start to write about stuff and it just gets too jumbled up and I can't even come close to explaining it in any way that would make sense without 2 or 3 hours of back story.
I saw my sister this week. I haven't seen her for a year... really long story, not a good one. The weird thing is that I didn't know I was going to see her, she was at a family function and so was I. She just acted like nothing had happened or that we haven't seen each other forever and it was strange. Really strange. It was great to see her, and my nieces. The younger one doesn't remember me, but the older one was totally overjoyed to see me and my girls, that was awesome. On the drive home I fell into this deep funk. I just don't know how to deal with seeing her and being torn between just being OK with the way things are and feeling like, hey there's all this stuff we haven't dealt with yet, which would completely drive her away again. That and sitting on the freeway for an hour and a half in construction traffic and missing the class I was supposed to teach.
Well, it's all still unresolved and I expect it will stay that way for awhile. I am trying to make patience a part of my life, but it's harder than I thought. I am grateful for any steps in the right direction, I just hope I'm actually going in the right direction.

There's no place like home

Everyone has there own idea of what makes a home. For me, it's family. I have a few different places that feel like home to me. My camping trailer, where I sleep in and so do the kids (miracle of miracles) where there is always sand on the floor from the beach that sticks to your feet and gets in the sheets, and where I can sit at the table and make pancakes on the stove at the same time. My moms place, and Adriens mom and dads place, you know it's home when you can root around in the fridge comfortably. The kwoon is where I spend a ton of time too, it's comfortable, familiar and my kids hang off the front counter no matter how many times I tell them not to. I have sweat and bled and cried and laughed there. I have had my face in peoples armpits and had theirs in mine, now thats family. Of course there's my home. It's kind of thrown together with stuff we had when we first got married that people gave us alongside the awesome custom couch we bought a few years ago. But of course it's not the things in your home, where ever it may be, that matter. It's the stories that go with them and the feeling you get when your there. This ended up being kind of a sappy post, but I was gone from home for a few days and it's good to be back.

Gaining Momentum

There are days during this UBBT journey that I question what the heck I was thinking when I said I wanted to do it, but I can always recall the feeling I had when Sifu Brinker asked me if I was interested in being a part of it. And then I kick myself and tell myself how lucky I am to be part of it.
In some ways I feel lucky that I am not a black belt at this point. I feel like it gives me an advantage because it always motivates me to work harder. It's kind of like being part of a secret club and you didn't go through the hazing but everyone else did so you have to work twice as hard to show everyone else that you deserve to be there.
I have never been in better shape in my life. I am faster than I ever have been. I am stronger than I have ever been. I am more compassionate and kinder than I have ever been. In the last 5 months I have done more things that I have never done than the rest of my adult life. I feel like my life has gained a momentum that I never want to lose.
I think about the reasons that so many things that I have wanted to do haven't happened until now, I think about people that talk to me about how they just can't seem to accomplish the things they set out to do, and I know now that if you don't give 100% commitment it won't happen. It's really one of those kind of disappointing answers for people because everyone wants to know what the secret is and it's not a secret. Your just doing what you said you were going to do!
Every time I feel like I can't do anymore push ups or forms or whatever it is I think about rolling backwards down a hill and how hard it is to stop that negative momentum. Speaking of which, I need to go do some push ups.

hmmm

Not to much to say this week, as usual I am staring at the screen trying to think of something to write.I got to be part of the Canada Day demo this week, that was fun.

For the past month or so I've been doing something different with my jiu jitsu requirement and it's been really great. It's a very self defense oriented approach to ground fighting. It's a lot more organized than what I was previously doing and I think I'm getting more out of it. Whenever I learn something new with jiu jitsu I walk away with a "wow that was really cool" feeling. Ground fighting is definitely it's own style. I have trouble remembering what I've learned when I'm in a fight, but everyone who has more experience tells me it comes with practice, I think I've heard that somewhere before....

Boot Camp

So I finally mustered up the courage to go to boot camp this year. Honestly I was always too chicken to go, but I figured I really had no excuse this year as a UBBT student member. What an experience! The day was a lot more fun than I thought it would be. It was such a great group of people. I wasn't feeling very well in the days coming up to boot camp and I wasn't sure how much I would be able to participate. I am surprised how much I could actually do. During the first part of the fitness testing I felt absolutely awful and thought I would sit out of the timed kicks portion, but my partner, Robyn( you totally rock) got me going and I did it, man it felt good. We finished the day with the 2km run, my whole abdomen was so cramped I thought I was going to die, but every time I thought about stopping someone else running in the other direction would yell out encouragement and I just put one foot in front of the other, I ended up finishing with a better time than the week before when we ran in class totally fresh. I think getting through anything starts with putting one foot in front of the other... thinking about the whole run was overwhelming, but just going one more step at a time was something I could do. Turns out all those little steps do add up to something big.

where would I be right now

My dad sent me a picture of the old house I used to live in out in B.C. and it really got me thinking about where I've ended up, as opposed to where I thought I would be. The choices that I've made, and even choices those around me have made have taken me down a very winding path and brought me places I never thought I would go. I think of the choices that brought me to kung fu, again, never thought I'd have any interest in being in martial arts. But here I am at Silent River with a group of amazing people and training partners that all converged after travelling their own paths, with who knows what along the way. We all have our stories about how we got here. There is a song that I was listening to today that has a line in it that goes " where would I be right now if all my dreams had come true? deep down I know somehow I'd have never seen your face, the world would be a different place" Who knows where I would be if all the things I thought I wanted at some point had come to fruition, I'll never know, but I can't imagine being anywhere else, or with anyone else... My life is amazing and I like who I am, I can't ask for anything else.

Black Belt excellence

So it turns out I'm a good employee. Ha ha. No really I am. One of my jobs is doing grunt work at a horse stable. Not most peoples dream job, but I love horses and grew up on ranches so the smell of manure doesn't bother me and the horses don't say much most of the time. I find great satisfaction in feeding and watering animals, of any kind. Providing a living thing with the necessity of life aren't always exciting, but always rewarding. I have always put a lot of stock in doing a good job, whatever the job is. With my acts of kindness requirement, I have being going out of my way to make sure that I can help out wherever it's needed or to do the extra jobs that will save other people time or effort when I have the opportunity. I was going to quit my job at the barn for the summer since I don't have childcare and I don't make enough money for it to be worth getting it. When I talked to my boss about it today she told me that they don't want to lose me and that I can pretty much just come whenever I want. She told me that I always do a really good job, and that it's hard to find people that do. She even offered to watch my kids while I work. She mentioned some of the things that I do around the place that no one else does, and it felt great. She isn't one to give compliments and the like, and honestly I didn't think she noticed. This week my daughter tested for her yellow belt and we printed off the form her teacher has to sign, on it it says:" Our school teaches the principles of black belt excellence. Not only do students become Black Belts in kung fu, but they also strive to become academic Black Belts and eventually, corporate Black Belts or Black Belt employees. At Silent River kung fu, Black Belt is a metaphor for personal excellence." When I read that it made me think about how much I want to be a black belt in every aspect of my life, even when I'm mucking out stalls.

Wake me up when it's over

So June has started out pretty much exactly the opposite of how I envisioned it. I don't like playing catch up on my requirements so I told myself I'd be starting out June with a bang. Turns out it was more like tthhhbbbb..... Whatever I thought I had fixed with my health is back. I went and saw a naturopath doctor this week, she was helpful, but of course we still don't know what the actual problem is, so how to treat it is still a mystery. I am having some tests done this week, I don't know whats worse, finding something or not finding something. I am having a really hard time dealing with the frustration of not being able to do the things I normally do. Not only on the physical side, but I have classically been the one to friends and family that can always help out or do a favor, pretty much anything. My brand new nephew was diagnosed with something called congenital adrenal hyperlasia this week. Long story short, his adrenal glands don't work. My sister in law stayed at the Stollery with him and my brother went in between home and the hospital with their 18 month old. I would usually be the one to jump up and take my niece and bring dinners, whatever. But I couldn't do anything to help. I feel so impotent! There are so many people with serious, chronic health issues that do amazing things and overcome huge obstacles, I wonder how they find the strength to do it. I have missed another week of class, and I will miss some next week too, because of the tests I'm getting done. I REALLY hate missing class. I struggle with negative thoughts and feeling sorry for myself, which I don't like to admit, but it's true. I never know day to day how I am going to feel so my plan is to pack in as much training as I can when I feel good. I feel like this is like empathy training a bit, you just don't appreciate good health until it's gone. There is a lot of great support around me at Silent River and at home, so this week my goal is to dig deep, find my inner strength and stay positive and connected.

Healing

Master McNeill was here at Silent River this weekend. It was a really great experience. I could only make it to the healing seminar and it was so good it made me wish I was going to the others too. There was a lot of great information and he gave me some ideas to check out with my ongoing stomach issues. Afterwards he talked to the UBBT members and it was the first time I have been together with all the other student members. I am not a black belt and during the black belt class is when most of the talks happen, makes sense, since 18 of the student members out of 20 are black belts. I am kept in the loop with emails and whatnot, but it was really cool to be and actual physical part of that group. I really feel like I am part of something special. It was one of those moments that you know without a doubt that this is changing your life, right now.

Since I was sick for over a week this month,most of my goals this month have fallen behind. There are certain requirement that I won't be able to catch up on, but I am going to try to finish strong with pushups, situps and forms. I got my brown belt this week and I am super excited that I get to learn new forms sometime in the near future. I like the challenge of learning a new form and making it look good.

It's good to be back

So all is well once again! I am super excited about feeling pretty much 100% again. After being out of classes for a week I was going through some serious kung fu withdrawal. The first class I was back when we bowed in, I actually got a bit of an adrenaline rush. Makes me realize how much kung fu really means to me. A few times some of the kids from the classes I am usually in came up to me on the sidelines and asked if I was coming into class today, it was really nice, I guess sometimes you don't really know if you make much of a difference being in there so that was really cool.
The annual kwoon clean up was this weekend, and I've never been around to help before, it was a lot of fun actually. It's nice to be a part of the reason things look good around the school. My kids had tons of fun too, more from playing in the mud puddles from washing the siding than anything. I am so glad they are a part of such a great group of people with countless amazing role models for them.
On a completely different topic, the weather is finally nice enough to ride my motorcycle and it's been such a blast. I think the reason I enjoy it so much is that when I have my helmet on and my hair is flying around in the wind, I'm kind of anonymous. I'm not thinking of a million and one things, I'm not being a mom or a wife or anything, I'm just me and I'm the only one who knows who I am. Sometimes after a crazy day, going for a ride is just what I need to clear my head, it's kind of like meditating. I think we all need something like that once in awhile.
Its good to be back!

I feel thwarted

This week has been extremely tough for me. I am having some health issues that I am having trouble getting diagnosed, let alone treated. I haven't gone to class once this week. I've lost eight pounds because I'm having trouble eating anything. It is so frustrating it brings me to tears. I have gained a new respect for people who live with chronic illnesses. It's a long weekend so all the ultrasound etc is closed so I am waiting for Tuesday, not very patiently though.
This is the first time I've felt like I'm really falling behind with my requirements. I don't know when I will be able to train, when will I feel better? I keep asking myself this over and over.
Trying to keep a positive mindset is a lot harder than it sounds. Often I can kind of mind over matter myself and keep going, but it's not working out so well this time. This week has been a real challenge, and I am going to try to keep thinking positively and taking care of myself.

And the pot just boiled over

So this past week bordered on hysterically busy for me. I started my second job so I'm now working full time. I know, big deal... everyone does it. I've found this really cuts into my "mom stuff" time. For example, we have no groceries in the house and it looks like a bomb went off in here. My husband and kids are pretty helpful, but they are busy people too. I have to really get a hold on my organization and well, be more organized.

Both of my jobs are physically demanding and there are days that I can barely keep my eyes open past nine thirty. This has thrown a wrench in my UBBT requirements, I often catch up at night if I haven't done enough during the day. So upward and onward.... finding new, better more efficient ways of obtaining my goals.

Tiger Challenge

Yesterday was the annual in house tournament and it was a great experience. As always my favorite part was watching all the black belts perform, it's always the highlight of the day to see what I am working towards becoming. There are so many great kids in the club too, and I love seeing them out there giving it their best. I was most impressed with Mr. Csillig, who was unsure of when to start because the judges weren't quite ready for him and he got a little flustered, his dad was on the side lines and he got him to go back in the ring and do his form. He took some deep breaths and did it. Most kids don't come back once the tears start and I thought it was pretty gutsy... something to learn from a 5 year old.
I was a lot more relaxed this year, especially while doing my forms. I sparred before forms this year, which might have done it. It was nice to spar with people I've never fought, I feel like I got a lot out of the tournament. Being in that heightened anxiety situation is not something you can just get any day of the week, and I think it's a great training tool. It was nice to see new faces there this year, and hopefully next year there will be even more.

Better, faster, stronger

So I have re- assessed where I am at with all of my UBBT goals, and I am pretty happy with where I'm at. The only really scary one is my sparring, I am up to 87 rounds per month to keep up. I think it's because for January and February I wasn't recording the way I should have been. I am behind in my french lessons also, but this is more because I am repeating lessons to make sure I am 100% so I am still happy with that. I racked up a lot of forms repetitions at the forms marathon this month, I realized, as I do with all of the challenges, that it's really not hard to do 6 forms a day, it's getting around to actually doing it. I feel that the biggest benefit I have gotten so far since starting the UBBT is my organization and just my everyday get up and go. I HAVE to be more organized everyday or I will go crazy... and if I don't get up and go then nothing gets done. It's done wonders for my leanings towards procrastination. I fell like I am becoming the best person that I can be.

short and sweet

I just finished reading all the new blog posts and there was a bit of a trend with a few of them. It seems like a lot of people are thinking about how fast time passes. There is a line in a song I really like, it says "time is contagious, everybodys gettin' old" and it's true. So... I will strive to do the things I love to do, and make time for them and the people that matter to me. I know I don't want to regret my life and I will live it as such.

Its all about the connection

My youngest daughter turns 6 tomorrow, which seems way older than 5 even though she's the same as she was yesterday. I decided that I am going to try to give my kids more of a free rein in certain ways. When I was a kid I lived in the country and I could take off and spend the day in the bush without my parents worrying. We live in town and thats just not feasible for them, and not really safe, but I decided I will not try to keep them out of mud puddles and dirt since it was such a great part of my childhood. I had a great aunt that was 97 years old the last time I saw her, I was about 12 I think, and she told me that if I kept my hands in the dirt that I would stay young. It must have been true, she was a pretty spry old lady. I have tried to keep my hands in the dirt so to speak. There is a great satisfaction in watching my family eat something that I grew from a seed. I think that there is a great loss of connection with the world because most people have nothing to do with the food that they eat. How can you not appreciate the earth when you plant a tiny seed in the ground and cover it with soil and water it once in awhile and it turns into food.... if your looking for a miracle, here it is. I am going to make sure my kids keep their hands in the dirt, even though they are city kids and learn to appreciate our connection with the earth. I can hardly wait for the snow to melt off my garden.

It's the little things

There are days that I don't even come close to fulfilling my acts of kindness requirement, there are days that have twice the amount I need and there are days that one thing happens that makes it feel like it's all worth it. There have been a few days where I offered help and ended up feeling a little silly when it wasn't needed, but the times that it is makes it worth the embarrassment. There was a lady struggling with an overloaded shopping cart in the parking lot and I automatically asked if she needed help, feeling sure that she would say she was fine. She looked so relieved and said would you mind? It actually made my day. Hey, I made someones life a little easier today and that's pretty cool. I feel like even though sometimes my acts of kindness fall behind on a daily basis that it has changed the way I go about my everyday life. Its so easy to walk around in your own world thinking of this or that and most of us hurry everywhere we go because we're all so busy. It's rare to walk past someone and make eye contact, but I think that it's important for us to put a face to all the strangers that we exist side by side with everyday, it makes it easier to help each other, and there should really be more of that in the world.

Sorry doesn't always make it better

When I chose my UBBT requirements, mending 3 relationships stood out for me. Although I could only think of one relationship that I needed to mend, it was a big one, and I chose this as one of my requirements.

The person who I wanted to mend things with was very close to me, and why we no longer talk is long and way to hard to explain without 3 hours of back story. In short, I tried to mend a relationship between this person and someone else we were mutually close to. As a result this person will no longer have any contact with me. I have always been a “fixer”. Most of the time it has worked out ok for me, but certainly not this time.

I feel a real sense of failure at this point in time because despite all my best attempts, this person does not want this relationship to be mended. I realize that you can’t make someone forgive you, or want to be a part of your life no matter how much you want them to or no matter how much it means to you. This has been the hardest realization of my life. I have had many sleepless nights and have run the gamut of emotions thinking of the situation and what I could or should do differently. I worry that I could have done something different or that I haven’t done the right thing. In the end I have had to look long and hard at myself and admit that it wasn’t all the other persons fault, that I played a part in the end of the relationship, that I did do some of the things I was accused of doing. Although I never did get to talk to this person, I did send a message owning up to my part in the breakdown of things. It hasn’t fixed anything between us, but I find myself more at peace with the situation and I realize that it was more to do with the fact that I was honest with myself about my own behavior instead of trying to justify my own wrongs with the other persons mistakes.

A little bit of this

I have written about 5 different journal entries and deleted all of them. I am really scattered with my thoughts right now, I think I have too many things kicking around in there. March has started off really well with all my UBBT requirements. I started the month off with a day of 1000 pushups and situps which was a great jump start. The sparring has been going great, thanks to my husband who is willing to spar anytime, as well as the jujitsu, which has been tons of fun. I have really plateaued with my kempo form, I know all the moves, they just don't look like they mean anything right now. I am going to consider this a learning tool, even though it is frustrating because I am struggling with it.Training without purpose or focus won't get me anywhere. I am going to break the form down and work on small pieces for now. As always I am so grateful for being a part of the UBBT and the changes it has brought to my life.

Living Hero #2 Rick Hansen

My second living hero is Rick Hansen, another Canadian, who grew up in Williams Lake British Columbia, where I also lived for a few years as a kid. Rick Hansen was paralyzed from the waist down when he was 15 after being thrown from the back of a truck. I can’t imagine how devastating that would be to anyone especially a teenager who loved sports. He started rehabilitation, finished high school and then graduated from the University of British Columbia as the first student with a physical disability to earn his degree in physical education. He went on to play wheelchair basketball and volleyball and also became a world class wheelchair marathoner.

Rick was inspired by his friend Terry Fox who attempted the 8.000 km trek across Canada to raise money for cancer research. He started his Man in Motion tour in March of 1985. He went on a 26 month journey, racking up over 40.000 km in 34 countries. The circumference of the earth is approximately the same distance. Can you imagine traveling around the world in a wheelchair? He raised over $26 million for spinal cord research and quality of life initiatives. I got to meet Rick Hansen at my elementary school during his tour. I will never forget meeting him and being so amazed as a 6 year old that someone could, or more so, would choose to wheelchair across the world for something they believed in.

I will be thinking of Rick Hansen when I have my day in a wheelchair and the amazing things that one person accomplished despite his physical limitations.

The gift of life

The last couple of weeks have been a huge challenge for me. My dad was back in the hospital with bleeding ulcers possibly caused by the medication given to him the last time he was in. I never realized that bleeding ulcers were life threatening. All told he lost 5 units of blood through holes in his stomach. It makes my stomach hurt to think of it. It also has never hit so close to home how important it is to give blood. His life was saved with blood transfusions from donors. I know we've all heard the slogans etc. about how giving blood is the gift of life, but I don't know if a lot of people really realize it is. I am so grateful to anyone out there who has donated blood, or tried to. I think that one of my community projects might come from what has happened with my dad these past few weeks. Well, we got a happy ending, he's doing well, which I am so grateful for. I want to send out a thanks to my kung fu family for being supportive and asking about my dad, and especially Sifu Shipalesky for getting so many positive thoughts going his way.

In the eye of the storm

Last Thursday was the beginning of a crazy roller coaster week for me. I got a call that my dad was in the hospital, they thought he had meningitis or encephalitis. Scary. Luckily it turned out it was pneumonia, but he spent a few days in the hospital on oxygen and antibiotics etc. Over the next few days we realized something weird was going on. My dad has been on medication for anxiety and depression for years and something had triggered a huge downswing for him. For anyone who knows someone who suffers from depression you know this is scary. The worst part is that you can't fix it, well for me it is anyway. Watching someone you love try to get through that is one of the hardest things I've had to do. My first thoughts when I was driving to the hospital when he was originally admitted was "there goes all my requirements for the day" and that was the last I thought of it. After they had stabilized him and I went home, everyone was gone to kung fu. The house was empty and quiet. I went down to the basement and was able to finish all my push ups, sit ups, forms and finally, my meditation. It was a blessing to have something to take my mind away from worrying and analyzing. I had not expected to find a haven in kung fu. I realized that the physical aspects of the UBBT requirements have given me an outlet for the emotions that can build up and overwhelm me at times. Physically exhausting myself gave my mind the ability to find peace in the whirlwind.

oh cruel, cruel pushups

So today has been a really up and down one. I have had problems with my right wrist with what I am pretty sure is carpal tunnel syndrome. I would get numbness from doing repetitive motion etc. It usually doesn't bother me. Of course doing from 100 to 200 pushups every day (somethingI'm not used to) has really exacerbated it. I have started working at a horse boarding facility where I do a lot of barn work that I don't think is helping much either. Last night I woke up 4 or 5 timesbecause my hand was numb. When I woke up this morning I went to check if my hand was blue and purple becauseit was so completly dead numb. I had trouble making breakfast for the kids and signing the homework etc.

This morning in class during warm up we did 30 pushups. Before the first 10 were done my hand was going numb and my wrist started to ache. I had to finish on my knees. argh! We mostly worked on techniques the rest of class so I was doing not to bad. Near the end we all did fitness testing which includes 30 pushups, 30 situps, 30 round housekicks each leg and 30 squat thrusts for my level. Of course my pushups were terrible. I've been doing knuckle pushups which helps but doesn't solve the problem completely. I had to stop every 5 to 7 pushups to shake my hands out to get the blood going. So the point of this really long post about my wrist and hand is that Sifu Laurie gave me some really great ideas to try. I thought I would post them in case there is anyone else having wrist issues. So #1 get the little handles for the floor to hold onto so my wrists are straight. #2 Apparently there are wooden wedges used in yoga for people with wrist issues to decrease the angle that there wrists are bent, on a side note, my husband has a balance board and if you plant your hands on the edge it tilts so your wrists aren't bent as much, which might work well also. She also made me promise to not do more than 125 pushups every day, I've been doing 200 so I can have rest days. I bought a wrist brace that looks really silly, but seemsto work not to bad.

It's really hard to take it easy. I feel a little like my body has betrayed me. I hope that some of the suggestions work out and I will be back to 100% as soon as possible. This has been my first setback and it made me feel grumpy for most of the day. I went to the UBBT website and read a bunch of journal entries, and it made me realize that I'm not alone in the setback department, and of course everyone is still going, which is what I will do. Just so you all know, it means a lot to me to be able to go on the website and read my fellow members journals. It always gives me and emotional boost and renewed purpose.

David Suzuki Living Hero #1

David Suzuki is an amazing Canadian who has been educating the world about the environment since the mid 70’s. I grew up watching the Nature of Things, where he tried to stimulate interest in the natural world, wildlife and the threats to it and to humans, with alternatives for a more sustainable society. He made it interesting and accessible, even to a an 8 year old. He is also the co founder of the David Suzuki Foundation, whose goal is “to find ways for society to live in balance with the natural world that sustains us” He has received 22 honorary degrees for popularizing science and environmental issues.
In one of his books, The Sacred Balance, he talks about how we need to understand that the amorphous idea of “the environment” isn’t something separate from ourselves, that we are the environment. He urges us to be connected to the world around us, something that I believe is the first step for anyone to take action and change the world for the better.
In more recent years, he has been a compelling spokesperson for global climate change. His passion for the environment shines through and has inspired many people to take action and make changes in their lives and the way they look at the world around them, including myself. David Suzuki is someone who has been an advocate of the natural world for many years and has inspired others to do the same. He is my living hero #1.

We could cast shadows on clouds

This week I was at the library picking books for my kids and I found a great book, it's called Zen Shorts by Jon J Muth. For anyone with kids, I highly recommend it. It's about a panda who meets 3 children and tells them 3 different stories. One of them is about a farmer and how a series of "bad" and "good" events turn out to be the opposite of what they seem. I really don't want to say if you get lemons make lemonade, but nothing else comes to mind. For example, a couple of years ago, I finally found out that I have malformed kidneys which was why I was suffering through several kidney stones a year, infections and all kinds of fun stuff. I was so relieved to find out that it was something real and I wasn't imagining things. Since then I have drastically changed my life. I am so much healthier now than I was then. I am lucky that my problem is minor and can be controlled by a healthy lifestyle, and it turned out to be an amazing turning point in my life.


On Monday the 26th, to start the Chinese New Year off, the students at Silent River Kung Fu were given a challenge to do 1000 pushups and situps. I have never participated in these challenges simply because I thought it was too hard for me. I have watched my husband go through a few of these challenges before and thought to myself, wow, I'm glad that's not me! But on Monday I did it too. I woke up really unenthused at the prospect of doing pushups first thing in the morning. As the day went on I was surprised how great it felt, besides the burning muscles and joints of course. At the end of the night the best part of crossing off the last 20 reps on my page wasn't getting to say that I had done 1000 pushups but that I had stuck with it even though it hurt.

I know that the next 12 months are going to be hard. Like I'm sure everyone else has, I have started to find out that there are some parts that are going to be really tough. There are already nights that I don't feel like doing anything... but I know without a doubt that being a part of the UBBT is a turning point in my life that is definitely for the better.

Level 10

It’s been an interesting week. I have never been really consistent in doing pushups and situps outside of class so I have been constantly sore, but I am also seeing an improvement in both areas already.
The acts of kindness continue to be a bit of a struggle. Something I’ve noticed is that it’s not even doing the act itself but getting someone to accept it. I have gotten some weird looks and “no thanks” when I’ve tried to let someone in front of me in a line up or take their shopping cart back along with my own. It makes me think about what I’m like when someone does the same for me. I have this big thing with not wanting to put other people out, so am I doing the same thing? I wonder how many times I’ve inadvertently rebuffed an act of kindness. Same goes for just taking a compliment when someone gives you one. Instead of all the oh, well, not really or it’s not that great or whatever, just saying thanks lets that person know you appreciate the compliment. So in addition to doing my acts of kindness I will make myself more open to accepting them too.
I have recently had the opportunity to help in the kids classes in the evening. It's been fun working with kids, plus my own are in there so it's fun for them too. The other night Master Brinker talked to the kids about being on level 10, giving 100%. He told them that we can't always be on level ten but we should always try to be there, always give your best. I always want to be able to say that I did my best and gave it everything I had, no matter what it is that I'm doing. Imagine what a place the world would be if we were all giving 100%.

Moving forward with a purpose

It seems like I have a million and one things going through my head all at once this week. I am really excited about being a part of the UBBT as a student member, I just keep thinking wow, I can't believe I'm really doing this. This is exactly what I need right now, in my life and my training.
Already some of the things I thought would be the easy parts are the hard parts, like the random acts of kindness. It really makes you pay attention to the people and situations around you. I knew the push ups would be hard, and they are. My back and shoulders are actually more sore than my arms. I did the warm up for the kids class Monday night and we did a big stretch up and down to sweep the ground, I think I made a weird noise and almost didn't make it back up again. The blogging is also tough, I'm not very good at putting my thoughts into words, hopefully this part will get easier.
Well, I am really looking forward to the challenge of the the next 13 months, I started a little late, so I'll have to do some catch up, and some of my requirements aren't completely thought out yet but so far here they are:

weekly journalling
meditation daily
profile 10 living heroes
organize or be involved in 5 community projects
10 personal victories
50 000 push ups and sit ups
1000 reps of kempo 1000 reps of a mix of my other forms
1000 rounds of sparring
1000 miles (1610 km)
100 hours ju jitsu
5 public testing performances
1000 acts of kindness
right 3 wrongs
mend 3 relationships
empathy training 1 day mute 1 day blind 1 day in a wheelchair
read 12 books
complete a 90 lesson french program to attain intermediate level french

So, here I go.